


Repairs

by alittlenutjob



Category: The Mindy Project
Genre: F/M, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-19
Updated: 2014-03-28
Packaged: 2018-01-13 03:00:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 27,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1210219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittlenutjob/pseuds/alittlenutjob
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Love and friendship can be hard to navigate, but they're trying to figure it out.<br/>As always I own nothing and write with the greatest respect for the creators.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Broken

“Mindy?” Danny rubbed his sweaty palms on his jeans nervously.

“What'd you do?”

“I think I broke your bookshelf.”

“Which one?”

“The one behind the blue chair.”

“Like, how broke?”

“Like the right side of the middle shelf has come completely out and I had to prop it up with the books that fell out.”

“Shit.”

“It's not that bad. I can fix it. You got a tool box?”

“Look at who you are talking to.”

“Fair enough. I can fix it though.”

“Let me have a look.”

It had taken them a while to figure out how to be friends, but once they'd settled on how to do it, nights like tonight were surprisingly frequent. A shared meal, maybe a movie. 

And yes maybe at some point in the evening she'd get a little close and he'd have a little trouble breathing. 

And maybe when he inevitably fell asleep during the film she might tuck a blanket around him and linger a moment too long, unsure if a friend is allowed a quick kiss goodnight just because the other friend just looked very sweet in his sleep.

“I'm really sorry.” He followed her across the room and squatted next to her as she surveyed the damage.

She knelt on the floor in front of the shelf. “Hey, hold it up while I take some books out.”

He grabbed the shelf and held it steady as she first emptied the shelf itself, then the shelf below. “I think we can prop it up with that candlestick,” she pointed at a chunky orange wooden candle holder that currently occupied the entirety of a fragile-looking table under the window.

“Please let me actually fix it. I didn't mean to break it. I just picked up a book to look at it and when I put it back down it sort of collapsed in my hands.”

“The candle holder will be fine. It kinda fits with my modern bohemian style.” 

“Modern Bohemian? Is that what you call this?”

“What would you call it?”

“Toybox chic.”

“Daniel Castellano! That's really cute. I'm completely offended, but it's cute.”

“I'm not saying I don't like it. I mean it's not my style, but it's very you. And that's good.”

She smiled shyly, the compliment unexpectedly touching. “Well if you get to critique my style I get to critique yours.”

“Fine. Hit me with your best shot.”

“Your place is...Urban Lodge”

“Urban Lodge... what does that even mean?”

“You know, it's kinda spare like a summer cabin, but it's so clearly city space.” 

“Okay. I can see that.”

“It's nice. Like it could be cold, but instead it's really warm.”

“Thanks.” 

“You're welcome. Now get that candle holder.”

He stood and retrieved it for her. “Mindy, let me fix it. I know you have a screwdriver here.”

“If by screwdriver you mean vodka and orange juice, then yes I definitely can do that.” 

“Please.”

“Fine.” She got up and disappeared into the bathroom to return with a pink and purple box that looked like a spaceship.

“What's this?”

“It's my tool box.”

“Mindy, it says Caboodle on the top.” 

“Well, it used to be a makeup case, but it makes a great tool box.”

He steeled himself for what she considered a tool box and opened the lid. “What the hell is this?” He held up a tiny hammer that couldn't be good for any kind of human household task.

“Isn't it cute?” 

“What do you do with it?”

“Mostly I break up big chunks of ice when I'm making drinks.

“Do you have a real hammer?”

“That is a real hammer.” 

“Real little.” He sighed and put it aside. “And this?” 

“That's a bobby pin. For my hair.”

“And that seemed appropriate for a tool box?”

“Hey, man, I've had to pick more than one lock with a bobby pin. They're practical.”

“You can pick locks?”

“Kinda.”

“Do I want to know?”

“Nope,” she called over her shoulder as she grabbed the tiny elf hammer and bounced away toward the kitchen.

“I'm just gonna blow past that.” He reached back into the tool box and found an orange pill bottle filled with screws and a Phillips screwdriver with a pink handle. “I think I can work with this.”

He got down on the floor and peered in at the place where the original screw had failed. It only took a couple of minutes to get the shelf secured, and as he pushed on it to check his work he smiled. “See? Good as new.”

She plopped unceremoniously onto the floor next to him and handed him a tall glass filled with a pale orange concoction and tinkling with ice. “Here, for the working man.”

He took a sip and grimaced. “Min, this is more vodka than orange juice.”

She smiled, “Yeah, I make a pretty great screwdriver.” She fished around in her glass for a piece of ice which she proceeded to chew noisily.

“You're gonna mess up your teeth like that.” He picked up the paperback nearest to him. “Why do you have so many True Crime books? Don't these give you nightmares?”

“Oh, they do. They're addictive though. The man you love is living a double life, and he like puts a hit on you because his other wife can't find out about you. Can you imagine?”

“No, I can't,”

“Well I can. Vividly. It keeps me up at night, which is why I have to keep reading. It's a vicious cycle.”

“Mindy, no one's gonna murder you.”

“I don't know, Josh might've. Drugs and everything.” She started loading books back onto the shelf.

“Why don't you read something nice?”

“What would you define as nice?”

“I dunno. _Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy_?”

“Whoa, with Tom Hardy?”

“What?”

“That movie had Tom Hardy AND Colin Firth, but I just could not get into it.”

“Well it was a book first. A good one.”

“You know what Tom Hardy movie I could watch like right now? _Wuthering Heights_.”

“Also a book first.”

She hit his arm. “I know that! I love it. It's crazily romantic.”

“No it's not.”

“Yes it is, Danny! They loved each other and couldn't ever be together. It's heartbreaking. Don't act like you've read it!”

“I have.”

“You have?”

“Yeah. I read a lot of stuff. I'm not much of a TV guy.”

“All right wise guy, why isn't it romantic?” 

“They basically made everyone else around them miserable because neither of them could man up and live with the consequences of committing to be together.”

“Well that is a singularly unromantic way to put it.” She took a sip of her drink and gave him a thoughtful look. “They longed to be together, Danny. That means something. Haven't you ever longed for something you couldn't have.”

His heart stuttered in his chest. “They were from different worlds. They were both pretty broken people.” He looked at the slowly melting ice in his glass, “Maybe him especially. Do you really think there was a chance for a happy ending there?” 

“Maybe not. But that doesn't mean that the love between them wasn't beautiful.” She put her now empty glass down. “Hand me those.” She pointed at a couple of books near his hand. “Thanks for fixing this, by the way.”

He leaned over and as he gave her the last book her fingers brushed his and he looked up at her. “I'm sorry I broke it.” 

“You didn't.”

“I... what?”

“You didn't break it. Casey did.” 

“Casey? You mean this thing's been broken for months?”

“Yeah.” 

“Why didn't you replace it?” 

“Danny, just because something's broken doesn't mean it's not any good.” She looked directly into his eyes.

He broke the gaze first and cleared his throat. “Says the woman who let me think it was my fault so I had to fix it.”

“Hey, I told you several times not to fix it. I was just gonna prop it back up and live with it. You insisted on putting it back together.”

“I couldn't leave you like this.”

She flashed him a careful look. “You could have. But you didn't. And I appreciate that.”

“Well just because you don't mind broken things doesn't mean they can't hurt you.”

“I'm not afraid of that. You shouldn't be either.” She paused and smiled at him again. “While you're here...”

She made the screwdrivers, and watched while he changed a couple of lightbulbs, reattached a loose baseboard and fixed the door handle on her walk-in closet. “How is this broken? I thought you were Houdini with a bobby pin.”

“You have to have the bobby pin with you to pick the lock, and I didn't. But I got out without any help, thank you very much. How much longer is this gonna take?”

“'You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.'”

“Oh my GOD, did you just quote _The Princess Bride_ to me?”

“I might have.” He dusted his hands on his thighs. “It's done.”

“How do you even know that movie?”

“Also a book first, but I know it because it has Andre the Giant. He's a legend. Did you know that he was so proud of the movie that whenever he met someone new he asked if they'd seen the movie and if they hadn't he'd sit down and watch it with them?”

“I did not know that.”

“It's true.”

“Well I know what we're watching tonight.”

\---

Mindy heard the first gentle snore before Westley and Buttercup even made it out of the Fire Swamp. She pulled the extra soft chenille throw off the back of the sofa and laid it across him, pulling it up to his chin. Unable to help herself she dropped a kiss on his head. 

“You're not broken.”


	2. Professor Plum

Mindy woke with a start. _It's happening!_

She held her breath and listened for the scratchy sound that had wrenched her from sleep. _Why didn't I ask Danny to stay? A murderer actually breaks in and I'm on my own here._

She slipped silently from between her sheets and jammed her feet into a pair of sneakers, the better to sneak with. She hadn't seen her handgun in like 4 months and unlike some people she knew she doesn't keep a baseball bat handy at all times. She did have that weird wooden candlestick though, thank God Danny had talked her out of using it to hold that shelf up. 

Hunching her shoulders she pushed the bedroom door open and scanned the room for a clear path to the window. As she crept toward the little table she suddenly thought that maybe she could use the table as a shield like a lion tamer. _Closer, closer._ She breathed a little sigh of relief as she wrapped her fingers around the candlestick and felt its reassuring weight settle in her palm. 

"Whatcha doin' there, Professor Plum?"

She swung hard for the source of the unexpected gravelly voice behind her and caught Danny on the hip. 

"OW! What was that for?" He hopped backwards. 

"Danny, what the HELL? Why are you still here?"

"I fell asleep on your sofa, remember?"

"Yes I remember 7 hours ago, but you usually take off long before I wake up. I thought there was a real murderer in my apartment."

He rubbed his hip. "That's gonna bruise. Why the candlestick?"

"I don't know where my gun is, Danny! And I don't have a man to chase down an intruder with a baseball bat while I hide, so I had to think on my feet."

"I'd have preferred the gun. That really hurt."

"It can't be that bad. Let me look at it, you big baby." She reached for his belt.

He pushed her hands away. "No, it'll be fine."

"Danny, I'm a doctor. Let me see how bad it is."

"I'm a doctor too, that's how I know it'll be fine." He sidestepped her second attempt to grab him.

"Ugh, doctors are the worst patients. Just let me check you out. It's not like I haven't seen everything you've got."

"Hey!" 

"Come here."

"Fine." He unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans and dropped them. He slipped the waistband of his boxers down a couple of inches so she could see the reddened skin on his hipbone. Her stomach fluttered unexpectedly the intimacy of the moment, but she shook it off and steeled herself with professionalism. 

She palpated area carefully, but didn't find anything unexpected. She gently hitched his boxers back into place. "It's just a bruise."

"That's what I said." 

"It's swelling pretty badly though, so sit down and I'll get you some Advil and ice." She led him back to the sofa and then went to the kitchen to fill a Ziploc baggie with ice. "Hey, what's this?"

“Breakfast,” he called back from the living room. 

“You made me breakfast?”

“Yeah. I got you one of those chocolate croissants you like and I was trying to make coffee when I saw you trying to sneak out of your bedroom.” 

She handed him a baggie of ice wrapped in a dishtowel and turned towards the bathroom. “Look I'm sorry I hit you, but you know I'm on high alert for intruders. Why did you sneak up on me?”

“I thought you were trying to sneak up on me!”

“Why would I sneak up on you Danny? And why are you here?”

“It's Sunday. I don't have anything for breakfast at my place and I had your spare key so I thought I'd do something nice. I don't have anywhere to be, you don't have anywhere to be.”

“How dare you? I could have plans!” She handed him a glass of water and a couple of pills.

“What kind of plans do you have? Sleep 'til 11? Watch movies in bed until the sun goes down and realise you never changed out of pajamas?”

“I'll have you know I have a date, so I would have gotten dressed eventually.”

“You have a date? Who's the guy?”

“Peter.”

“You're going out with Peter?” Danny's eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Relax, she called over her shoulder as she set about pouring coffee. “It's like a bro-date. Since that MMA thing we meet every so often to drink and talk exes. He gives me the manly perspective on my relationships.”

“I could give you a manly perspective.”

“I don't think so, Danny. I don't think we could talk like Big P and I talk.”

“Big P?”

“Yeah, it stands for...”

“That's enough. I get it.”

“I'm messing with you. I will never call him that no matter how hard he begs.” 

He looked uncomfortable. “Why don't you think we could talk?”

“Listen, you're like my favorite friend, but Peter...Peter doesn't judge.”

“I don't judge you.”

“Peter lets me eat appetizers and no real meal.”

“Mindy, you can't just eat appetizers. The sodium...” he started.

“See? Judgement. And Peter's the only person I know who can keep up on 2-for-1 tequila shots.”

“I'm sorry. I could do that, though. I could drink and eat chicken wings with you.”

“Yeah, but Peter lets me talk about some things that I can't really talk about with anyone else and sometimes I just need that.”

“Like what?”

She sat down next to him with a plate of pastries and handed him a mug. “Like...I don't entirely hate Josh anymore. I could see letting him be in my life again.”

“Are you kidding me?” He almost dropped his coffee. “That guy broke your heart! He used you for drugs and he made you the other woman. And he let you take the fall for his wedding!”

“No, I chose to take the fall for that. Because I don't hate him anymore. And because I think it might balance out my bad karma for Tom's wedding.”

“Don't go soft on Josh.”

“I'm not. He made some mistakes, and he had a problem, but he's sober now and I think we could be friends.” She took a sip of her steaming drink. “He's a pretty fun guy when you don't love him.”

“So you definitely don't love him.”

“I don't.”

“Good.” He grabbed a croissant and bit it in half. 

“It is good.” 

“Well have fun on your date with Peter. I'll be nursing my hematoma.” 

“Hey, this thing with Peter is a good thing. We got off to a bad start and we needed to mend bridges. He's a partner now, and honestly when you get past that frat nonsense he's a pretty nice guy. Kind. Smart. Sexy bedroom eyes.”

“Okay. Stop.” He saw the mischievous smile tugging at her lips as she pulled her croissant apart. “You're messing with me again?”

“Yes. You're so easy. Listen, I'm much smarter than I used to be when it comes to guys. Now I just have a nice friend who lets me double dip fries and talk about guys because he never even knew them and doesn't have an emotional reaction.”

“I have the emotional reaction BECAUSE I'm your friend.” 

She squeezed his hand. “I know.” 

“Well I guess I'll go. Tell Peter I said hi. Don't get too drunk.”

“How drunk is too drunk? Like 'trying to show a art gallery full of strangers your penis' drunk?”

“Like I don't want to have to bail you out of jail because you almost drowned choking out a Barbie doll.”

“Okay, Springsteen show.”

“Be nice to me. Someone beat me with a candlestick today.” 

“Because I thought you were a murderer!”

“Well next time I'll wake you up before I make breakfast.” He blushed a little as he replayed that in his head.

She smiled brightly. “Maybe next time I'll make breakfast for you.”

“Next time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick update, the next chapter may be several days away because I've got a bit to work out for it.


	3. My Dinner with Peter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bro-date night.

“Barwench! We need 6 shots of tequila, chop chop!”

Mindy's jaw dropped. “Dude, you just called another human being 'barwench'.” 

“Yeah I did.” Peter grinned and winked.

“What is wrong with you?”

“Relax, she loves it.”

The cute brunette behind the bar racked up 6 shots and poured them with an unimpressed look. “That'll be $22.”

“I thought these were two for one.” Peter fished around in his pocket for his wallet.

“They are. Consider the difference asshole tax.” Barwench raised her eyebrows like she hoped he'd try to challenge her.

“Pay it, Peter.” Mindy shook her head and looked at the woman. “I'm so sorry about him.” 

Peter handed over the cash and pushed three shots over to Mindy. “Bottoms up. 3 shots in 60 seconds or you buy the next round.”

She rolled her eyes and knocked back the first drink. “Did you know that Beverly used to work here? And there used to be this bartender who looked like Thor. I wonder if he's still around.” She looked around just in case.

“Stop changing the subject, Mindy.”

“I'm not changing the subject. We were talking about work and I thought it was interesting that Beverly used to work here.”

“No, we weren't 'talking about work'. We were talking about how you and Jeremy used to make the beast with two backs.”

“You are so disgusting.”

“How do you come back from that? I mean he's your BOSS.”

“He is not my boss, I'm a partner.”

“And now you have to sit through meetings knowing what his...”

“PETER!”

“...tastes like.” 

“Change the subject. If we hadn't already ordered food I'd leave right now.”

“Fine. But just to be clear, you don't do office romance anymore?”

“No.”

“How about office ho-mance?”

“Damnit Peter.” She picked up her bag and started to slide off the stool.

Peter grabbed her wrist. “Stay, Mindy, I'll stop. Look, we have mozzerella sticks and potato skins on the way.”

“Why are you even interested in me and Jeremy? It's old news. And seriously this, you and me, is not ever gonna happen.” She climbed back on her stool and started piling her plate with cheesy, bacon sprinkled, sodium laden goodness. “Why did you really want to meet up tonight?”

“No reason.”

“Peter.”

“You look nice, you don't wear enough purple.”

“Thank you! You know I really like purple, but when I'm actually standing there in the store I never actually buy anything....Hey! Don't distract me! What's going on?”

“Fine.” He smashed a mozzerella stick between two potato skins like a little sandwich and dropped it back onto his plate. “It's over.”

“What's over?”

“Becca's wedding was last night.”

Mindy gasped. “Oh shit. Why didn't you say something? I would have gone with you. Please tell me you didn't go alone. It's too sad. I'll die. I'll die!”

“I didn't go.” 

“Weren't you invited?”

“I was.”

“But you didn't want to go?”

“I did.” 

“Peter, give me something to work with.” She looked at him more closely, noticing now that her friend looked a little washed out, a little tired.

“She didn't want me there.” His mouth was set in a grim line and he couldn't meet her gaze.

“She said that? What a...” 

“No she didn't say that, but we aren't friends anymore. She just invited me to be polite.”

“You don't know that.”

“I do.”

“Peter, you've got to find a way to be friends with her. It's the only way to move on with your life.”

“You're one to talk. Call Josh yet?”

“No, but I will this week. When I was talking to Danny over breakfast I realized I don't hold anything against him anymore. He's a good guy when you don't love him. And I don't. Danny says hi, by the way.” 

“Well I do still love Becca. I'm not ready.” 

“That's fair.”

“I'm gonna go see a man about a piss.”

“You couldn't have just said 'excuse me'?” She watched as he slipped through the door that said 'Hounds' and then turned her attention to her unread texts. She had a couple from Danny.

_**Danny** _

__

_**Danny answer this** _

__

_**What?** _

__

_**What do you mean, what? You texted me** _

__

_**Oh yeah. I have your keys.** _

__

_**I'll get them from you tomorrow.** _

__

_**Not your spare keys. All your keys.** _

__

_**Crap.** _

__

_**Come pick them up when you're done** _

__

_**You want me to bring you some chicken fingers** _

__

_**Nah I ate** _

__

_**I'll text you when I'm on the way** _

__

_**Be careful** _

 

 

 

Peter put a tray of shots down and sat. “Let's get wasted.”

.  .  .  .

 

 

They were both a little worse for wear by the time the cheesecake came around, but Peter's mood seemed a little lighter.

“So... you had breakfast with Danny this morning? You stay at his place last night?”

“No, he stayed at mine.” Mindy shook her head at Peter's raised eyebrows. “It's not like you think.”

“You're not banging him?”

She made a sour face. “No we're not sleeping together. It's not like the Jeremy thing at all.”

“It's different?”

“It's different.”

“But that is who you've been texting all night?”

“I don't know what you mean.” She turned her phone over

“I will pay for everything tonight if 4 of last 10 texts you sent were to someone other than Danny.” He snatched the phone from the table. “Ha! I knew it!”

His lips twisted with confusion as started reading the texts. “You're right, this is different. These are the least sexy texts I've seen in my life. You might as well be married. Do you not know how to text a man? Did you you grow up on a religious compound?”

“Excuse you, I know how to send sexy texts.”

“No,  _I_  know how to send sexy texts.”

“Do you really want to go there?”

“Hey aren't you coolio with Cliff by now? You're such an expert on befriending exes.”

“Cliff won't return my texts or calls.”

“You want me to talk to him for you?”

“Because that has worked out so well in the past.” She closed her eyes and remembered why she was here. “You want me to talk to Becca?”

“Don't you dare.”

“Too late. I left a congratulations post from us on her wall like 2 hours ago. Check your phone.”

She watched his eyes as he scrolled through and found what he was looking for. He let out a little sigh. “She liked it.” 

“See. She doesn't hate you. Give her a couple of weeks. Try to be friends.”

“I'll think about it.”

She dropped a couple of twenties on the table, stood up, and pulled her coat on. “Listen, I gotta go. Somehow Danny ended up with my keys and I gotta pick them up before I go home.”

“How'd you leave your apartment without keys?”

“Danny locked up behind us and I just didn't think about it.” 

“You sure you guys aren't bumping uglies?”

“You're horrible.” She swung her bag and caught him on the arm twice before he could move out of range.

He raised his hands in defeat. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry! Julia's shift ends in like 10 minutes anyway.”

“Who's Julia?”

“Her.” Peter pointed to the cute and apparently very forgiving woman behind the bar.

“You called her Barwench and she agreed to go out with you?”

“Don't hate the playa, dawg. Hate the game.”

“Never say that again. Gross.”

“Go get your key from your husfriend.”

“Don't call him that!”

“Breakfast together? Unsexy texts? All you need is rings and a rugrat. I bet he changes your lightbulbs for you and shit.”

She looked away guiltily.

“I was KIDDING. Wow, you owe that guy an apology. Or maybe let him borrow a cup of that brown sugar.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“How did I allow myself to be seen in public with you? I'm taking this cheesecake.” She kissed his cheek. “Call Becca.”

“Call Josh.”

“I will.”

“And Min? Thanks for this.”

“You're welcome. You owe me karaoke next time though.”

“Deal.” He waggled his eyebrows again. “And think about what I said!”

“Stop talking. I can't believe we're friends.”

“You love it!” his words followed her out the door and she rolled her eyes for the hundredth time that night and started walking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to try to give time like this to lots of characters, but Pete first. I have trouble with his voice, so any feedback is appreciated.


	4. Walking and Talking

Danny watched Mindy weave unsteadily toward him as he sat on the stairs that led up to his building. “Jesus, Mindy. If I'd have known you'd be this drunk I'd have come and got you.”

“I'm not that drunk,” she protested.

“Where are your shoes?”

“Uhh...” She looked down and then back up with a confused expression.

He stood. “Wait right here, I'll find you some something to wear.”

“I'll just come up.”

“No, that's okay. Just wait here.”

“Why can't I come up? Do you have someone here?” She grinned cheekily at him and raised an eyebrow.

“No. Why would you ask that? Of course I don't. Why would you ask that?” His eyes darted to the front door to the building and then to the ground.

“Oh my God, you totally do. You have someone up there and you don't want them to see me!”

He threw his hands up. “Okay, fine. I do have someone over.” 

“Then why on earth are you down here with me?”

“I told her I had to do a favor for a friend.”

“Idiot! Get back up there and BONE DOWN.”

He sighed. “How WAS Peter?”

She looked confused again. “He'll be okay, why do you ask?”

“You're talking like a frat guy.”

“Oh. Sorry. He kinda rubs off on you after a while.”

“That has not been my experience.” He pointed at the plastic box in her hand. “Why are you holding cheesecake?”

“Oh yeah! It's for you.”

“I told you I ate.”

“There's always room for cheesecake.” She held the box out to him and he took it carefully.

“Thank you. Hold on for just a minute and I'll bring you some shoes.”

She sat down awkwardly on the stairs. The dress she was wearing was not really made for camping on steps.

He ran up stairs and grabbed some sneakers from his bedroom that he figured would probably fit her fine. 

“Going for a run?” asked a woman's voice from the kitchen.

“No, but I will be gone like 30 minutes. Are you okay to wait here for me?”

“Yeah, I'll wait.”

“Thanks. Help yourself to anything you want. There's cheesecake.” He dropped the box on the kitchen table.

“Sure.”  
. . . .

 

He found Mindy actually lying on the ground, reading texts. She looked a little like an upside down ladybug no matter how hard she insisted it was adorable when she did it. 

“Here, put these on.” He dropped the shoes next to her on the pavement and reached down with one hand to help her pull herself up. Her dress had ridden up while she was lying down and he could see several extra inches of smooth thigh, but looked away politely while she straightened her clothes.

“Thank you so much, Danny. I was wearing heels and then I took them off because they were uncomfortable and I think I gave them to someone a couple of blocks ago, but I don't know that for sure.”

“Why didn't you get a cab?”

“It's a nice night for walking.” She waved her arm grandly. 

“I guess.” He looked up at the night sky almost entirely obscured by light pollution, and a smile tugged at his lips. City skies were all he'd ever known and they had a kind of beauty that was hard to describe to people who didn't grow up with them. “Hey, how about you let me walk you back to your place. I don't feel good about letting you wander the streets in this condition.”

“What about your friend upstairs?”

“She isn't expecting me back for like 30 minutes.”

“Okay.”

“How'd you get this drunk?”

“Peter was drinking through some pain and I kept him company.”

“Really? What's going on?”

“Becca got married last night.”

“Damn.”

“I told him he needs to find a way to be friends with her so he can move on.”

“That's pretty sound advice for a drunk person.”

“Hey, I give amazing advice.” 

“Sure.” He held his arm out so she could steady herself while she pulled his shoes on. “So you're really into this 'make peace with the ex' thing?”

“Yeah. I mean, I know you don't believe in closure or anything, but I don't think you can be open to new love with old hate in your heart.”

“More drunk philosophy. Maybe we should get some coffee into you. Come on.”

“Can we get doughnuts?” she asked hopefully.  
. . . .

 

“Why did you get milk?” Mindy sipped her coffee as they walked slowly to accommodate her unfamiliar footwear and general tipsiness. “I thought real men drink coffee.” 

“It's too late for coffee. I won't get to sleep.”

“You have a woman in your apartment, who you left there ALONE by the way, and you're planning on sleeping tonight?”

“It's not like that.”

“What's it like?”

“None of your business.”

“You're right. Sorry.” She took a bite of her bearclaw and looked at him thoughtfully. “Peter said something funny tonight.”

“Did he?”

“Yeah, he read our texts and said they were like married people texts.”

He couldn't meet her eyes. “Why?”

“Because they're 'unsexy' according to him. And because you change my lightbulbs.”

“Oh.” He tried hard not to let his relief show on his face. “I don't mind doing that kind of thing.”

“Peter said I owe you an apology.”

“You don't owe me anything.”

“Or that I should let you borrow a cup of my 'brown sugar.'”

He choked on his milk. 

She patted his back as he leaned over and tried to get his breath back. “Danny! Don't die on me now, I'm almost home.”

“Why does he think you owe me something?” 

“He called you my husfriend.”

“Okay.” They started walking again with silence hanging awkwardly in the air between them.

“Danny, why did you wait for me when you had a date?”

“I have your keys.”

“You could have just dropped them off, and gone back to what you were doing.”

“I wasn't doing anything.” 

“You were doing SOMETHING if you didn't want her to see me.”

He put his hands in his pockets.“Listen, don't get mad.”

“Why would I get mad, Danny?” Her eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“I didn't want you to see HER.” He took a big breath. “It's Christina.”

She dropped her doughnut and spun on him, a bit too quickly and he had to catch her. She pushed him away and straightened herself up. “Are you KIDDING me right now?”

“No. I ran into her tonight and we decided to get something to eat.”

“And you invited her back to your place? After everything she's done to you?” She was visibly shaking now and he could see tears in her eyes.

“Hey. Calm down.” He reached out but as soon as his hand landed on her shoulder she shook him off.

“No, Danny. You don't get to tell me to 'calm down.' Do you not remember how she cheated on you? And how she broke up with you in a humiliating public way?”

“Yeah, but..” he began

“Don't 'yeah, but' me, buddy. She made you all closed off and...”

He cut her off. “No, I made me all closed off. Maybe I did that even before she left me. Both times. We actually talked about it tonight. I wasn't the only one who got hurt.”

“Don't you dare make excuses for her!”

“I'm not. We had a nice talk. We cleared the air.” 

“And she's sitting in your apartment right now, waiting for you to come home. To talk?”

“Yeah, just to talk.” He watched her expression change rapidly, but couldn't understand what he saw.

She blinked rapidly and drew herself up. “Well, as your doctor I don't recommend that you have sex tonight, or for a couple of weeks until your hip is better.”

“I wasn't planning on it.”

“Good. I mean I'm glad you're taking your injury seriously.” She reached out and put her hand on his hip. “You should let me check it again.” 

He put his hand on hers, but didn't push her away. “I'm fine, Mindy.” 

“Well I can't just take your word for it.” 

“You'll have to, because I'm not letting you undress me on the street.”

“You could come up to my apartment. I could check you out quickly.”

“No, I couldn't. I told Christina I'd come back.” They both looked down and seemed to realize he was still holding her hand on his hip. He picked up his hand, but hers lingered still for a moment.

She looked directly in his eyes and his chest grew uncomfortably tight. “Does she know I'm the friend you're helping?”

“She knows.”

“And she doesn't care?”

“I don't know. She might, but we're trying this friends thing, which YOU of all people should be supportive of, and when I said I needed to help you out she just said to say hi to you.”

“Which you didn't.”

“Well, look at how you reacted. You dropped a DOUGHNUT, Mindy.” 

“I'm sorry. I should trust you more. I don't have any right to judge you for that.”

They reached her building and both looked up at the door and back to each other. “Please come up and let me check your hip,” she said with a concerned look.

“I told you, it'll be fine. It doesn't hurt any worse than it did this morning.”

“If you're sure...”

“I'm sure. I'll heal good as new. You'll see.”

“You better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a turn I didn't expect in the writing. It was originally going to be all fluff, but I think it was right in the end to give Danny's past a callback too. Let me know what you think.


	5. Connections

“Hey mama, looking good!” Josh kissed Mindy on the cheek and pulled her chair out.

“Thanks, Josh.” Mindy sat down and took a long look around the restaurant. “This place is NICE. I bet even the bathrooms are swanky. How did you even get a table here?”

He winked at her and grinned. “I have connections.”

Her expression darkened a little. “Yeah, you always had connections. Too many, maybe.”

Josh's bright smile faltered. “That is...fair. I don't have as many as I used to, if that makes you feel better.”

“It does, actually.”

He handed Mindy the wine list. “I'm not drinking, obviously, but you're welcome to...” He concentrated on his menu.“So what possessed you to call me?”

She looked at him thoughtfully for a moment, turned the wine list face down and picked up her own menu. “Well I kinda wanted to check up on you since we haven't really talked since I left your wedding covered in cake and disgrace. I, um, I never asked how that actually turned out.”

“How that turned out... well I'm not married, if that's what you're asking.”

“That's not what I'm asking.”

“Right.” He took a sip of his water. “Corrine moved back to New Mexico.”

“Is that like a polite way of saying she went back to rehab?”

“No, but she really liked one of the therapists there and she went back to start therapy again.” 

“Well that sounds like a good thing. Are you guys going to try again?”

“I think that door has closed. She maybe should have stayed there longer instead of marrying me.” 

“I'm sorry, Josh.”

“Thanks.”

Relief washed over Mindy as the waiter arrived to break the awkward silence and take their orders. After a little internal debate Mindy decided on soup and salad. 

“Really, salad? You were always a meat and potatoes kind of girl.”

“Ugh. Never call me a 'meat and potatoes' girl again.”

“Sorry. You know, I actually always liked that about you.”

“Well, Danny says I need to quit living on appetizers or I'll end up with hypertension, so I'm trying to be virtuous.”

Josh gave Mindy a careful look. “How is Danny?” he asked.

“He's good I guess. He's talking to his ex again, which I think is a mistake, but he's a big boy.” 

“Is that what this is?” He gestured between the two of them. “Tying up loose ends with the exes?”

“What do you mean?” 

“Nothing. Nevermind.” 

They both nervously reached for their glasses simultaneously.

Mindy smiled. “Sooo...this is really awkward isn't it?”

Josh chuckled nervously. “You know, my entire life I've always known exactly how to turn a conversation to my advantage. That's why I became a lawyer. But since I got clean I don't seem to have the gift anymore.”

“Yeah, I remember that. You talked me into a lot of stuff I probably wouldn't have otherwise done.”

“Yeah, I did,” Josh smirked.

“Josh!”

They smiled at each other, both relaxing a little.

Josh took a deep breath. “Hey, Mindy. I'm sorry. I know I keep saying that, but I am really, truly sorry for what I did to you. Not just the thing with the prescriptions and the cheating, but the way I treated you from the start.”

“Josh...”

“No, let me say this. I shouldn't have said that stuff about preferring skinny white girls. I shouldn't have called you from strip clubs. I shouldn't have given you deodorants instead of flowers.” 

She giggled. “That was kinda funny though. I didn't mind that much.”

“But you SHOULD have minded, Mindy. I look at you and I see a really smart, beautiful, confident woman who for some reason just accepts backhanded compliments and half-assed gestures. Why do you do that? What made you this way?”

Mindy was completely taken aback. “What the fuck, Josh? I did not ask you to meet me for dinner and a bunch of rude, personal criticism.” 

“No, but I think you asked me to dinner because you wanted to know why I cheated on you. I think I was right about you tying up loose ends with the exes and I'm trying to be honest. I lied about basically everything the whole time we were together, so I'm telling you the truth now. I think there is something very wrong about the fact that you let me treat you like that.” 

“Are you finished?” 

“No, I'm not. I know like 90% of what happened with me and you was my fault...”

“Excuse you, 100% of what happened was your fault.”

“Okay, you're right. I was a monster and you deserved better.” He put his hands up defensively, then dropped them and sighed. “Why didn't you ask for better?”

“Was it my responsibility to ask to be treated like a human being? Wasn't it YOUR job to, I don't know, treat me like a person, with feelings?”

“I know how badly I messed up, Mindy. I know I hurt you, but if it wasn't obvious from the moment you met me that you were too good for me then you have a problem.”

She felt the telltale pricking of tears behind her eyes. “You know what? This was a mistake. Excuse me.” She picked up her purse and pushed away from the table. She ducked into the ladies room so she could cry in peace and hoped that Josh was smart enough to just leave. 

“Mindy!” Josh's voice was muffled by the door. 

She walked over and leaned on the wall next to the door. “Go away, Josh.” 

“Mindy I'm sorry. Please come back out and have dinner with me.”

“No, Josh. Forget I called you. We can't be friends. Lose my number.”

“I'm not going to lose your number. Who says that, anyway?”

“Go to hell.”

“I'm sorry. No, actually I'm not sorry. I'm telling you this because I want to be your friend, very much. I want to be part of your life.” His voice suddenly got very soft and she could barely make out what he was saying. “And it will break my heart to see my friend end up with a loser like me.” 

She wiped her eyes carefully, trying not to smudge anything. She took a big breath and stepped back into the hallway to see Josh sitting on the ground next to the door. He was breathing hard like he was trying not to cry and he didn't look up when she slid down the wall to sit next to him.

“You're not a loser,” she said softly. 

“I'm a mess, Mindy. I don't have any friends now that I don't party. I can't go to clubs and meet new people. I'm basically on probation at work because I got so reckless before I went to rehab. I know for a fact that I'm not ready to date as you can tell from my sort-of marriage. I spend a lot of time alone, and I don't know how to just be by myself.”

“Are you going to meetings?”

“Yeah.”

“And you can't talk to anyone there, either?”

“No. I clearly don't know how to talk to people anymore. I started partying so hard because that's how I connect to people.” 

“Would it help for me to go with you to a couple meetings?”

He finally looked up. “You would do that?”

“Yeah. What are friends for?”

“I thought we couldn't be friends.” 

“Josh... the truth is I got so upset because you're not entirely wrong. You were bad for me, and maybe I should have seen that. I know I should have seen that.” 

“No, I was being an ass.”

“Did I tell you I got engaged?”

“You did? Congratulations.”

“No, we broke up, a while ago.”

“Oh, I'm sorry.”

She sighed. “Do you want to know what he said when he proposed to me?”

“Okay.”

“He said, as part of the proposal, 'When I first met you I thought this would be a fling, based on your body type.'”

“Yikes.”

“Yeah, and I still said yes. What is wrong with me?”

“There's nothing wrong with you, Mindy. You've just got to expect more. You deserve the best. Never settle.”

She smiled. “I appreciate that. And you're not a mess. You definitely don't know how to talk to people right now, but you can get that back. And you do have a friend now.” She nudged him with her shoulder.

“This has been the worst year of my life.” 

“Hey, you're never gonna get to a place where bad things don't happen to you. But you are sober now. And that's progress.” 

“Thanks. That helps.”

“Yeah, Danny said that to me once when I was having a bad time. It was the night of that Christmas party, actually.”

“Danny's a good guy.”

“Yeah, he is. The best.”

Josh stood and offered her his hand. “I'll go pay for the dinner we didn't eat. Maybe we can try again in a couple of weeks. I'll try not to be such an asshole.”

She took his hand and pulled herself up. “Thanks, Josh. Give me a call if you need a sober buddy, okay? You have a friend.” She grinned widely.

“Do you need a ride anywhere? I have a towncar.”

“No, that's okay, I gotta pick up some ice cream and then I'm headed straight to Danny's.” 

Josh looked like he wanted to stay something, but instead he just smiled back. “Good luck, Mindy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was was difficult because again Josh's voice is hard to pin down. We don't have much Josh to go on (compared to main characters) but I thought it was important to open up this line so Mindy has a chance to close it down on her own terms. The next chapter is a companion to this, and will be up by the end of the week, promise.


	6. Chubby Hubby

**_Danny, buzz me up. My phone is about to die._ **

As Danny swung the door open Mindy bounded in and kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks! There was literally only enough charge to send the text before my phone died in my hand. I wasn't even sure that you got the message.”

“Why didn't you use the actual intercom?”

“Is it 1973?” She dropped a bag on the counter and started opening cabinets. “Where do you keep your ice cream bowls?”

“What's an ice cream bowl?”

She pursed her lips playfully. “Danny, it's exactly what it sounds like. It's a bowl from which you eat ice cream. Where are yours?”

“I don't have ice cream bowls. I just have bowls. My bowls are multipurpose.”

“I do not understand what you do with your money. What's the point of being a glamorous Manhattan doctor if you don't bring the style home?”

He tried to suppress a smirk as he shrugged. “Somehow I have managed to survive this long without a bunch of fancy bowls.” 

She laid a couple of regular bowls in front of her and started digging in a drawer for spoons. “What are we watching?”

“I don't know about you, but I'm watching Ken Burns' _Jazz._ ” 

“Which episode?”

“The one about drugs.”

“Okay, I can work with that.” Mindy heaped both bowls with ice cream in a couple of different colors with what looked to him like chocolate chips or something. “Speaking of drugs, I went out with Josh tonight.”

“I know.”

“Oh, did I already tell you?” she said distractedly. “I know we haven't really seen each other this week.”

“No, Betsy said something about it this afternoon.” He picked up one of the cartons of ice cream and read aloud, “'Chubby Hubby.' Mindy, what is this?”

“It's great, Danny. There's pretzels, there's peanut butter. You're gonna love it.” She carried the now filled bowls over to the sofa and made herself comfortable.

He followed her to the sofa and hit play on the DVR, but turned the volume down low in case she wanted to talk. “So?” he asked cautiously.

“So what, Danny?”

“So how'd it go with your ex-boyfriend?”

“Josh. Danny. You can say his name. And it wasn't the least disastrous date we ever had, but it wasn't the worst either.” 

“What happened?”

“There was a bit of crying and a lot of truth telling, but we're going to be friends.”

“So Josh tells the truth now?”

“Danny, be nice. He's trying. And actually he was kinda wonderful.”

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, afraid to look fully at her. “How so?” 

“Well to start with, he acknowledged that I was too good for him.”

“Well that's certainly true.” Danny let out the breath he was holding and ate a bite of ice cream. “Why the crying, then?”

“He asked me what was wrong with me, that I would accept backhanded compliments and half-assed gestures.”

Danny dropped his spoon into his bowl with a clatter. “What? What's wrong with HIM? He was supposed to treat you right and he didn't.”

“That's what I said.” 

“Good.”

“But he's right.”

“No, he's not.”

“He is though. I have dated some real jerks.”

“Told you so.”

“And I just let them be jerks to me.”

“Hey, other people's asshole behavior is not your fault.”

“No, but I need to get some sort of standards when it comes to relationships. Casey literally said I had a “fling” body type WHILE he was proposing to me.”

“He did that?”

“Yeah.” She looked at her ice cream and put the bowl down in front of her.

Danny put down his bowl as well. “Hey, don't worry about Casey. He wasn't good enough for you either.”

“Maybe.”

“No, definitely.” He squeezed her hand. “Eat your ice cream before it melts. And don't spill it all over my cushions this time.”

She picked her bowl back up and started swirling the ice cream around with her spoon. “It was nice to talk to Josh for real. He probably could have said what he said less rudely, but he had good intentions. He said he wants to be my friend and it would break his heart to see me end up with a loser like him.”

“Finally, something Josh and I can agree on.”

“Danny!” 

“Sorry.” He tried to look sincere. “I just mean that you shouldn't settle.”

“That's what Josh said too.”

“Wow, he was on a roll tonight.” Danny picked up his bowl and began to eat again. “So you're friends? You're happy now?”

“I'm happy. I'm going to go to some meetings with him, help him talk to people.”

“That's nice.” 

“It is nice.” She finished her ice cream and grabbed the remote control and turned the volume up. “This one is actually super good. When Rishi and I were kids we sat through so much PBS stuff and I didn't realize until I moved out of the house how much I loved nights like that. It was kinda like a date night for all of us together as a family. I'm going to get my parents the DVD for their anniversary.”

“I bet they'll love that. Maybe you should go up to Boston and watch with them or something.”

She smiled at him and his heart fluttered. “I might just do that.” Then her smile faded and her eyes widened. “Danny, what's today's date?”

“It's the 24th. What's wrong?”

“Can I borrow your phone?”  
. . . . 

“Turn the TV down. It's ringing,” she whispered loudly to him, but the volume on the phone was turned way up and he could hear the ringing (and the whole conversation) anyway. He hit mute.

“Who is this?”

“Rishi, it's me.”

“Mindy? Where are you calling from? This isn't your number.”

“I'm calling from Danny's phone.”

“That's still happening, huh?”

“What?”

“Hey, why are you calling from Danny's phone?”

“Mine died. You should probably save this number just in case 'cause the battery on my phone lasts about 42 minutes anymore. It's the pits.”

“Okay. So why are you calling?”

“Can't a big sister just call to see how things are going?”

“Nope.”

“That's really cynical, Rishi.”

“What do you want, Min?”

“Fine. Did you remember Mom and Dad's anniversary?”

“You mean the anniversary that ends in like 45 minutes?”

“Yes, that one,” she said testily. “Did you call them, or send them anything?”

“Yeah I sent a history DVD thing from Dad's Amazon wishlist.”

“And have you talked to them today?”

“No, they booked some sort of walking tour thing and then they were gonna go out to dinner. I sent a text but I think they were gonna get freaky so I stayed out of it.” 

“Gross, Rishi.” Mindy rolled her eyes expressively.

“I'll call them tomorrow.”

“Is there any way you could tell them it's from both of us?”

“YAAAASSSS! Big Sis done messed up!”

“Damnit, Rishi! Please? I'll owe you one.”

“Fine, but I'm holding you to that. And it's gonna be a big one. I gotta go. Call them tomorrow, I'll cover for you.”

“Thank you, Rishi! I love you!”

“Bye sis.”

Mindy handed Danny the phone and breathed a big sigh of relief. “I can't believe I forgot. I feel like such a jerk.”

“Hey, don't beat yourself up about it. You've had a lot going on, what with beating men with bric a brac and the public drunkenness and all.” He grinned at her and waited for her reaction. 

She grabbed a pillow and started hitting him with it. “Danny!”

He felt a deep laugh bubble up from his chest and burst free. “Haven't you harmed me enough this week?” he croaked. 

He caught her arms and she started giggling too. “That wasn't even bric a brac. Bric a brac is more like figurines and stuff,” she gasped between laughs.

“You would know.” Danny let go of her arms and wiped tears of laughter from his eyes. He sat back heavily on the sofa and patted his stomach. “You've got to stop bringing desserts over. I'm gaining weight.” 

Mindy nudged him with an elbow. “No you're not. Or at least not so I can tell.”

“Other people can tell.”

“Do you mean Christina?”

“What? No.”

“Okay.”

“I just mean the guys at the gym. Repo asked if I'd gotten married. He said I looked 'fat and happy.'”

“You know a guy called Repo?”

“Well that's not his real name, obviously.”

“So a guy with a gangster name thinks you got chubby. So what? You're a man, that's good. Look like a man.”

He turned, surprised. “Hey, you can't turn my words against me.”

“I can, and I have.”

“Well, thank you. And for the record, Christina hasn't seen all of this,” he gestured down at his stretched out body, “since she left me.”

“Oh, I just kind of assumed...”

“Nope. I told you, we're just gonna be friends.”

“Okay.” She paused. “Hey I'm sorry if it seemed like I was avoiding you this week. I was just trying to give you some space.” 

“Why would I need space?”

“Because of the Christina thing.”

“Hey, listen to me. There is no Christina thing. We did talk pretty late that night, but basically we're just trying to get to the point where we can exchange Christmas cards or go to parties and not spend the night avoiding each other. And even if there was a Christina thing that doesn't mean you and I couldn't hang out. I would never want someone to come between me and you.” His heart was beating so loudly he was positive she could hear it. “I mean I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't respect my friendships.”

“I know. Me too.” She took his hand and turned the volume back up. She didn't let go.


	7. The Ancient Art of Midwifery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny and Brendan find common ground.

Danny had just sent his first patient of the morning off to phlebotomy for a blood draw when his telephone buzzed. “Dr Castellano, Brendan Deslaurier is on line 3 for you.”

“Did he say what he wants?”

“No, he just asked to be put through to you.”

Danny ran his hand over his face. “Thanks Bets, I'll take care of it.”

He hit the light on the phone and answered, “Dr Daniel Castellano speaking,” hitting the doctor especially hard. It was a little petty, but hey, life is about enjoying the small things.

“Hello Danny, it's Brendan from upstairs.” 

“How may I help you?” Danny had barely slept the night before and being professional to an ass like Deslaurier was stretching his limits. 

“I have a patient with multiple sclerosis...”

“A patient?” Danny interrupted.

“A client, and this is her first pregnancy. She wanted to deliver using a midwife, but her MS specialist recommended that she see an obstetrician as well.”

“So why don't you just refer her to us?”

“Because her wishes are to deliver naturally at home and she has a right to the birth plan of her choosing.”

“Okay, so why me?”

“Danny, you seem to think we are enemies, but we are not. You're a good doctor and I think you are the right person for the consultation.”

“We're not enemies?” Danny's eyebrows raise of their own accord. “What about the Rally against Racism or whatever you called it?”

“I'm sorry about that. Sometimes I get unnecessarily competitive and it brings out the worst in me. I'm working on that with my yogi.”

Danny rolled his eyes. “You could have gotten us shut down. Call another doctor.” He reached toward the phone to disconnect the line. 

“Danny, she has an appointment today at 11 am. Please at least come up and meet her and if you and I can't agree to treat her together I will refer her to the doctor of your choosing.”

Danny paused to consider the offer. Maybe he could just pick up a new patient. “Okay, fine. I can't make it 'til 10 past, but I'll be there.”  
. . . . 

 

Three cups of coffee later Danny still wasn't feeling very sharp. He'd only caught a couple of hours sleep after the horizon had begun to lighten for the day. Mindy had left right after the show ended last night. He knew his palms were sweaty and he was so on edge that he couldn't even hear the rest of the program, but she'd held onto his hand 'til the very end. As agonizing as that was, it was even worse when she left. The room suddenly felt cold and empty, but his hands were on fire and his mind racing. He was unaccustomed to the kind of restlessness that plagued him still today, and it made it impossible to concentrate properly which just made him irritable as well as tired. He swallowed the last mouthful and headed upstairs for his consultation.  
. . . .

“Nice to meet you Mrs Bowman.” Danny reached out to shake her hand. “I'm Dr Castellano. I'm a partner at Shulman & Associates downstairs. Brendan tells me that you are 15 weeks pregnant?”

She took his hand and gave it a firm shake, which he really liked. “It's Miss, actually. And yeah, I'm due in the spring.”

“Well your blood tests look good and the baby seems to be developing well. It looks like you were taking Beta interferon until 6 months ago?”

“Yes. I stopped the beta and birth control at the same time.”

“And are you taking any disease modifying medication right now?”

“No. My MS specialist is Dr Charles Nguyen and we talked about the repercussions of stopping all treatment to get pregnant. We agreed that I wouldn't take anything for the duration of the pregnancy.” She spoke with the even confidence of someone who was very used to talking to doctors. 

“I know Charlie, he's a good doctor.”

“I agree. He's been really supportive of me, which is why I am agreeing to meet an obstetrician in addition to my midwife.”

“Can I ask why you chose a midwife over an obstetrician? It's my opinion that you would be better served by full services from a medical practice. It would allow more flexibility to plan with your other doctors.”

“Dr Castellano, I can appreciate your viewpoint, but I would like you to know where I'm coming from too.” She gave him a strained smile. “I was diagnosed with relapsing remitting MS when I was 17, which is really, really young. I was told that I would be on medication for the rest of my life. I've had more spinal taps and MRIs and referrals to specialists than I can even count anymore. I was told that having my own children would be a big risk and that I shouldn't expect to be able to do everything parents usually do for their children. It was a terrifying thing to be told when you are a kid yourself. I have great, supportive doctors now, but I have spent the last 10 years of my life on a series of toxic medications. My parents always look worried when they think I can't see them. My current partner is the first person I've ever dated who doesn't treat me like I'm fragile. I'm not fragile and I'm tired of being a patient. Pregnancy is a healthy part of life and I just want to enjoy this and be a mother first before I am anything else. Just this once.”

Danny looked at her thoughtfully. “Okay, well if your preference is to stay with the midwives I do agree with your specialist that you should be seeing an obstetrician in concert with the midwife. I was going to refer you to one of my colleagues, but I'd like to take you on as a patient myself if you'll have me. Brendan and I will sit down and he can fill me in on your birth plan and we'll see what we can put together to support you.”

“Thank you Dr Castellano. I really appreciate you listening to me.”

He nodded to the midwife. “Brendan, I'll be free today from 2-3 if you want to come down to my office.”

“Sure. I'll see you then,” Brendan replied.

Danny got up and shook his new patient's hand again. “Congratulations, Miss Bowman. We'll do everything we can to help you achieve your goal.”

. . . . 

Brendan sat in the chair across from Danny and watched Danny eat a late lunch. “Danny I want to thank you for taking the time to consult.”

“Sure. You understand what my consultancy fee is, right?”

“I do. I'll have Diana liaise with Betsy to get that sorted out.”

“Right. So what's the plan? Birthing prep and delivery with you, ultrasounds and bloodwork through us?” Danny took a big bite of his sandwich and chewed thoughtfully.

“And no drugs.”

“I can't guarantee no drugs if I'm brought in for delivery. I'll do what is medically necessary.”

“If you get called in for delivery then I concede that what you choose is out of my hands, but she's a person first and a patient second. Will you please take her wishes into consideration if you have to use medical interventions?”

“Of course I will. I don't know why you have this perception that I don't see my patients as people.”

“And I don't know why you don't think that I am trying to provide the highest quality care for my clients. All I want to do is help this woman retain control over her pregnancy and birth experience.”

“I can appreciate that and I'm sorry if I've been dismissive of that. Why me though? Why not Mindy?”

“Mindy and I have a complicated past.” Brendan's lips twitched in a brief frown.

“Complicated by how you treated her like she was disposable.” 

“I resent that. It was never my intention to make her feel 'disposable.'”

“You may not have meant to, but that's what happened anyway.”

“Well I'm truly sorry for that. She's a fine doctor and a fine woman. I did try to apologise to her, but the timing was never right.”

Danny scoffed. “Timing doesn't have to be right for an apology. You fucked up, you say you're sorry.”

“I meant...” Brendan began.

“Yeah, I know what you meant and you can just forget it. She's way too good for you.” Danny waved his sandwich at Brendan.

Brendan gave Danny a scrutinizing look. “But you're good enough for her.”

Danny rubbed his bleary eyes. “No. I'm nowhere near good enough for her, but at least I know that.”

“And you'll spend the rest of your life trying to deserve her?” 

“Yes. I mean no. It's not like that,” Danny stuttered, caught off guard. Why was being so frank with this schmuck? 

“It isn't?” Brendan raised his eyebrows. 

“We're just friends.”

“Right.” Brendan stood and turned to leave. “Well good luck with that. I'll have Diana set a follow up appointment with Miss Bowman and coordinate with Betsy.” 

“Okay. I guess we'll be seeing more of each other for a while.” 

“I guess we will.” Brendan put his hand on the doorknob, but turned back. “And Danny? It might not seem like I cared for Mindy, but I really did. Take care of her.”

Danny sighed and just gave up trying to pretend. He was just too tired and he'd already said too much. “I'll try.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are two major things I wanted to address here, the first being that midwives are not inherently evil and sure the Deslauriers are objectionable (maybe not Duncan - he's adorable), but midwives do a lot of good in this world. The second is that in my head at least the doctors of Schulman and Associates are competent professionals and I love to see that side of them, Danny especially. I would very much like them to see what the other does and respect it. Let me know what you think.


	8. Pancake Day

“Mindy, where are we going?” Jeremy looked increasingly exasperated as they drew closer to her apartment.

“I just need to stop by my place for a second, and then we'll go eat.” Mindy started digging through her bag for keys. 

“I'm on call in an hour, so we mustn't shilly shally.”

“Me? Shilly shally?” She quirked an eyebrow at him. 

“Yes, you. You've never 'stopped by your place' without needing to change clothes 4 times and I'm starving.” 

“Rude. Especially coming from you.”

“Why especially rude coming from me?” They sped through the front door just as one of her neighbors was leaving. The neighbor shot her a dirty look.

Mindy jammed the 'up' button and looked Jeremy up and down. “Because if you looked up 'preen' in the dictionary there would be a picture of you, fussing with a tie that probably cost more than some people's rent. Hey, did that guy give me side-eye or what?”

“He did a bit. What did you do?” They stepped into the elevator and Jeremy reached over and hit the button for her floor. 

Mindy gave him an appraising look. “Why do you assume I did something?”

The elevators doors opened and they could hear the music from the hallway. Jeremy stuck his hand out to hold the doors open. “What is this, Mindy?”

She smiled coyly. “Well I think we know why my neighbor is pissed. Let's go look for ourselves, shall we?”

She pushed the door to her apartment open and screamed bloody murder. 

“Sorry!” Morgan pushed the mask up quickly. “It's a Guy Fawkes mask.” 

“What the HELL Morgan? You've been greeting guests to my home in that?” She bent to pick up her bag, which had spilled when she jumped back from the mustachioed nightmare that had greeted her so unexpectedly. “What the hell is Guy Fawkes?”

Jeremy answered, “Guy Fawkes tried to blow up Parliament. More or less.”

Morgan stepped out of the doorway and Mindy and Jeremy could see the room was heaving with happy people in mismatched costumes and swathed with frankly puzzling decorations, but the theme was clear. 

“Mindy, is this some sort of British party?” Jeremy asked with a confused look.

She smiled broadly. “It's for you!”

“You know that's an Australian flag though, right?”

“Is it?”

“Yes. And why do you have an Eiffel Tower cake?”

“It's the best we could do on short notice, come on.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him into the party. She spotted Danny in the kitchen and waved. 

Mindy and Jeremy took off their coats, which Danny scooped up with a big smile and whisked away so they could start making the rounds. Peter handed them a couple of pint glasses. 

“Why is this green? I'm not Irish. Also, actual Irish people would never drink green beer. This is literally the most American drink I've ever beheld.”

“Relax, guy. The green beer is kinda a long story, but a guy owed me a favor and it tastes exactly the same.” Peter waved dismissively.

“I can't drink this, I'm on call soon.”

Peter's face broke into a huge smile. “Rachel is watching our patients for the next 2 hours and then I'm taking the rest of your shift. This is all for you, so drink up, buddy!”

Jeremy took a cautious sip, “Not bad, for lager.” 

Mindy rolled her eyes. “Stop being a beer snob and come say hi to everyone.”

“I'm not a 'beer snob' because I have standards,” Jeremy protested

She pointed at his glass. “Drink.” They approached a little cluster of people next to her stairs who were clearly enthralled by whatever tale Beverly was spinning. “Hey guys!”

“..And let's just say his name rhymed with Blon Blajor,” Beverly finished.

Betsy turned to Jeremy and Mindy with a big grin. “Hi Mindy, Dr Reed. Happy St Swithun's day!” She gave Jeremy an excited hug. 

“Betsy, please call me Jeremy. And it's not St Swithun's day. I actually don't know when St Swithun's day is...” he trailed off thoughtfully.

“It's in July,” Beverly interjected.

The group turned to her as one.

“What? I know things.” She waved a sausage roll at them.

Tamra turned back to Mindy, “I thought this was some sort of British holiday. What is this party, then?” 

“It's a Jeremy appreciation party.” Mindy said with a sweeping gesture. 

“So it's not like a religious thing?” Tamra asked.

“No. We just wanted to show Jeremy that even though he hasn't been home in a while, he can enjoy all the amenities of home here in New York.”

“Seriously?” Tamra shook her head. “You people throw the weirdest parties.”

Jeremy pulled Mindy to the side. “How did you know I hadn't been back to England for a while?”

“Actually, it was Betsy who noticed. She said you seemed a little down lately and that we needed to do something.” She nodded in Betsy's direction.

“She did? I thought I'd been covering quite well, thank you.”

“Betsy notices things.”

“She really does. I should thank her.”

“You should, but first, come through to my bedroom. I have a little present for you.”

“Uh, Mindy, that's not going to work for me.”

“Relax, pervert. You've seen the last you're ever gonna see of my hot bod. I have a real present for you.”  
. . . .

 

She slid open the top drawer of her bedside table, pulled out a little box and handed it to him.

Jeremy popped the top off of the box and smiled. “My watch. You're finally giving back my watch.”

Mindy looked a little abashed. “Yeah. I'm sorry I was so petty about it. At the time I was pretty torn up about being rejected, but I'm not now.”

“For the record, I wasn't rejecting you. I was rejecting the idea of a relationship.”

“I don't think that sounds like as good an excuse as you think it does.”

“You're right. I'm sorry. I'm just trying to say that if at that moment in time I wasn't looking for a relationship with anyone. I thought you knew that about me, and when I saw that you weren't on the same page I ended it to save you some pain.”

“Well that worked beautifully,” she said drily.

“For the record, if I'd had any intention of entering something long term back then, I would have called you first. You're marvelous.” 

“Thank you for saying that. It's recently been pointed out to me that maybe I don't have very high expectations of relationships.” 

“That's true.”

“Hey!”

“All I'm saying is that of all the people I've ever met you have the most confusing self esteem to self respect ratio.”

“What does THAT mean?”

“It means you are a skillful and self-assured surgeon, and kind and funny friend, and a ridiculously stylish and sexy woman. You exude confidence so much of the time, but when you're with a man it just seeps away from you.” 

“Okay.” She made a face.

“That sexy confidence and intelligence? That IS you. If you try to diminish it to keep a man interested you are cheating yourself. And the man. Find someone you can be yourself with.” 

“Thanks, Jeremy.” She smiled warmly. “I'm glad we're friends.”

“Me too.” Jeremy hugged her with one arm and tilted his head, clearly listening to the music change in the next room. “Is this Chumbawamba? Are we listening to Chumbawamba now?” 

“Peter was in charge of the party playlist. He wanted live entertainment, but I'm like 95% sure he meant strippers.”

“I wouldn't have minded that.”

Mindy scrunched her nose in disgust. “Gross. Let's go get pancakes.”

“There are pancakes?”

“Yeah, none of us, except Beverly apparently, knew enough about British holidays so we kinda mashed them up together. I did not know that there was a Pancake day. How did I not know that?”

“It's the last day before Lent.” 

“Well I know that now. Dr Catholicism out there was holding out on me. He probably just didn't want to have to cook them for me.” 

Jeremy's lips twitched into a smile. “You know if you asked Danny for pancakes he'd ask how high.”

“That's kinda cute!”

“No one ever gives me credit for being funny.”  
. . . .

 

As soon as they stepped back into the living room Morgan started chanting, “Speech, speech, speech, speech!” and the room took up his call quickly. Mindy pushed Jeremy toward the stairs so he could address the crowd from higher ground.

Jeremy looked a bit bashful for once as he waved everyone quiet. “I shall keep this brief since there is merry to make and Peter must leave soon to cover my shift.” He cleared his throat. “I certainly did not expect this, and I don't know what I've done to deserve it, but I am incredibly grateful to all of you for coming out to celebrate...” he searched for the right description, “St Pancake's Bonfire Night?” The room tittered as a whole and Betsy clapped briefly before Morgan grabbed her hands to quiet her. “It is true that I haven't been back to England in quite a while, but just to be clear, I am NOT homesick. This city is my home, and you people are my family.”

The room burst into applause and Jeremy raised his glass. “There's no place like home.” 

“There's no place like home,” echoed the room.

Mindy smiled, but she felt her eyes stinging with tears. She caught Danny's eye and he returned the smile from across the room. She didn't know why she was reacting so strongly, but she felt a sob tearing up from deep inside and slipped away from the party for a breath of fresh air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: It felt right to have this ready for the real Pancake Day. Thanks to daysofyeshi and the-omniscient-narrator for their awesome notes!
> 
> Three stories in three days coming this weekend, continuing this party and beyond. :)


	9. Don't Hold your Breath

Mindy crawled out onto her fire escape. She sat down and tried to get her emotions back under control, but for some reason being alone just gave her the freedom to really let go. She leaned back against the cool brick and let the tears slide silently down her cheeks. 

Danny stuck his head out the window. "Hey, you okay?"

"Danny?"

He climbed the rest of the way out onto the fire escape and sat down. "I brought you a beer."

"How did you know I'd be out here?" She ducked her head for a moment and wiped her face then reached for the beer.

"I don't know. I guess once I missed you this seemed like the first logical place to check."

"You missed me?" she nudged him playfully.

"You know what I mean. Great party by the way." He peered at her more closely. “Have you been crying?”

“A bit.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Nope. I think it might just set me off again.“

“Okay.” 

“It was his stupid speech.” She began anyway. “I don't think I knew how much I cared until he said this was home. I guess I've always been a little afraid he'd abandon us one day to go be glamorous and European. I feel so lucky to have Jeremy in my life.” 

“What do you mean?”

“Well, when we first met I was intensely physically attracted to him...”

“Okay.” Danny waved his hand for her to stop."Enough of that."

“I was physically attracted to him,” she continued with a sharp look, “but we definitely didn't have any potential to be friends. We could have ruined things with our relationship, but we moved past it and now we're basically family.”

She chuckled to herself and Danny gave her an inquisitive look. “What?”

“That's kinda what happened with me and you too.” 

He took a swig of his beer and stretched his legs out in front of him. She peeked at him through the wisps of hair that had drifted free of her loose bun. “Don't you think that's funny?”

He stared out into the night. “I don't think it's the same.”

She took sip of her own beer and swished it around her mouth thoughtfully before swallowing. “All I meant is that I feel lucky to have you in my life too.”

They sat and listened to city sounds drift up from the streets below.

“Well if you're okay maybe I should go back and make sure no one ends up taking out a restraining order against Morgan.” Danny shifted to get up. 

She caught his hand. “Stay with me. Just for a little while. I don't think I'm ready to go back in, and you're the only one who missed me anyway.”

His eyes flicked down toward her hand and back at her. “Okay.” 

“So you're consulting on one of Brendan's patients?”

“Yeah.”

“We ran into each other in the elevator. We went up to his floor and had a cup of tea together. Well, it looked like tea, it smelled like something else.” Mindy scrunched her nose up at the memory. 

“Yuck.”

“Pretty much. We had an interesting talk though. He seemed different this time.”

“Yeah?”

“He said some very complimentary things about you, Danny. He also said some nice things about me and not even backhanded. Then he told me he hoped I'd find someone who actually deserved me, or would at least try to deserve me.” She studied Danny's face, waiting for his reaction. 

“And?”

“And nothing. I just thought it was interesting, and if you can be civil to the midwives I can be civil to them too. We're professionals, we can do that much.”

“Sure.”

“Danny, what's going on here?”

“What do you mean?”

“All the monosyllabic answers, you haven't looked at me for the entirety of this conversation. Are you mad at me?”

He turned to her and gazed directly into her eyes, which she suddenly realized on this tiny fire escape put his face very, very close to hers. “Do you really think that you and I are like you and Jeremy?”

“Danny...”

“I want to know. Do you think of me the way you think of Jeremy? Would you be out here crying if I'd given that speech?”

“Of course, not. I don't have to hear a speech from you to know that you...”

He cut her off. “That I what? That I won't go anywhere? That we're family?”

“Of course.”

“And that's it?”

“That's not it. I...I don't know what you want me to say, Danny.”

“I don't want you to say anything.” His shoulders heaved as he let loose a sigh that she could feel on her face. “I don't want you to say anything.”

It was much cooler out here than in the apartment, but she felt unaccountably too warm. “Danny, are you jealous of Jeremy?”

He grimaced and looked away. “Sometimes.”

“You're a handsome doctor with a family that loves you and lots of friends. What do you think he has that you don't?”

“It doesn't matter.” He shook his head.

“It matters to me.”

“Well for one, he has the ability to be cool. Somehow you two have managed to find a friendship sweet spot where no one has to hurt to stay friends.” He still wouldn't look at her. 

“It did hurt to become friends, actually. I only tonight gave him back that watch he left at my place eons ago.“

He turned to her unexpectedly, eyes bright with pain. “When did it stop hurting?”

She felt a lump form in her throat as she reached out to cup his face in her hands. “Dan...”

“Please don't call me that,” he breathed. “Please.”

Her chin dropped to her chest as tears came unbidden and once again spilled down her cheeks. 

“Goddamnit it,” he swore. “I didn't mean do to this. I'm sorry.” He dropped the bottle he was holding and reached up to wipe her face.

“Danny, we've never been good at anything but friendship. I don't know why that is, but I don't want to lose that. I don't want you to hurt, but I don't know what to do. If I knew what to do to save you pain I would do it.”

He sighed heavily. “Just...maybe don't hold my hand if you are going to let go and go home.” 

She peered at him curiously. “Is this about the other night? I just wanted to be close. I wanted you to know that I don't want anyone to come between our friendship either.” 

The tiniest frown pulled his lips for a moment. “It's about a lot of things. Maybe we can be that kind of friends one day, but not right now. You can't pick me up and put me down. I don't have the heart for it. I don't want to be your 'husfriend.'” 

“You're not. Peter said that and it was stupid. I shouldn't have even repeated it.” She watched him lean his head back against the brick again as the two of them sat there listening to the party sounds filtering through the window. 

“What am I then? You want me to be your drinking buddy like Peter? Your friend like Josh?” His eyes met hers. “You want me to be your brother like Jeremy?” 

In the cool evening warmth radiated from him, and she felt herself drawn to it. For what felt like the first time in a long time she looked at him, really looked at him. She saw his expressive eyes that even in moments of laughter and kindness held an intensity that felt like a new force to defeat gravity itself. She could feel on her skin the very breath that had so often carried words designed to build her up and make her feel secure. Her chest tightened and her stomach dropped as she remembered all those times that his warm hands made those words true and held her safe. She had a startling realization. “I don't want that.”

He stared at her, eyebrows raised in surprise, but didn't say anything. 

Betsy poked her head out the window. “There you are! We're out of eggs. People are really eating a lot of pancakes.” 

“Sorry Betsy, I guess I've been an absentee hostess.” Mindy hauled herself up, but didn't hold out her hand to Danny so she wouldn't make him uncomfortable.

Danny stood as well. “I'll run down around the corner and get some more eggs.” He crawled back through the window. 

“Maybe get some more milk too,” Mindy called behind him.

“Okay.” He slipped through the closet door with Betsy and Mindy was alone on the fire escape again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title comes from the song by Athlete.  
> More tomorrow. Promise.


	10. Tom Getting Married

“Jeremy, did you get an invite to Tom's wedding?” Mindy snagged Jeremy's arm, pulling him to an unexpected halt as he passed her office. 

“Of course. Did YOU?” He tilted his head and cocked his eyebrow. 

“You don't have to say it like that.” she said, and hit him playfully. “I'm only invited to the reception though.”

“Same. I think the ceremony is private. I wonder why...” Jeremy said with a smirk.

“Shut up, Jeremy. I didn't get drunk until the reception last time.” She turned the invitation over in her hands thoughtfully. “I guess he's ready to forgive and forget.” 

“You know, I wasn't sure I was going to attend, but I am definitely going now.” 

“Jerk. You think Danny's going to go?” 

“Why don't you ask him? He's at his desk right now.” Jeremy gave her a funny look and continued to his office.

She poked her head around the door to Danny's office. “Are you going to Tom's wedding reception?”

Danny looked up from his paperwork and disconnected his reading glasses to slip them off of his face. “Yeah. I was kinda surprised he that he was getting married again so quickly, but Tom's always been a bit of a wild card.”

“You're telling me. Want to be my date?” she asked with a bright smile, hoping that what happened at Jeremy's party would pass soon and knowing that it wouldn't. They had barely spoken this week, both apologizing regularly for being so busy and then failing to do anything about the growing distance. 

“I, uh, I'm invited to the ceremony. I'm actually going to be in the wedding party.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Tom and I got kinda close for a while there. We've had our differences, but I get where the guy's coming from. I'm really honored.”

“Is this a 'Getting Over It Gang' thing?”

“Yeah, some of the other guys will be at the ceremony.”

“Will Kris...”

“Stop. Leave him alone.”

“Just asking,” she said, trying to act casual.

“Anyway, I'll be with Tom for the morning, but I will catch up with you at the reception, okay?”

“Okay.”  
. . . .

 

Mindy paced herself, well aware of what happened when she got into the vodka last time, and just sat back and enjoyed the reception for what it was. She caught up with various friends from medical school and residency days. She wore a bold Pacific blue cocktail dress was simultaneously sexy and sweet and more importantly drew compliments from all over. It was just...nice. In the reception line she shook Tom's hand briefly and introduced herself to his new bride as an 'old friend' from when they were residents, and Tom looked grateful that she had stopped there and moved along. 

She was seated at the same table as Jeremy, who almost definitely would end up in the arms of some woman later because weddings made him feel 'vulnerable', but for the moment made a perfectly charming dinner companion. She caught glimpses of Tom throughout the night and unlike the last time, he looked so relaxed and happy that her heart swelled with happiness for him.

After dinner Tom found her flirting mildly with the DJ and pulled her into a quick hug. “Thanks for being here, Mindy. And for being cool.” 

“My pleasure.” Her face lit up with a genuine smile. “Can I ask though, why did you invite me? Aren't you afraid that I'll get wasted and destroy something?”

Tom smiled back. “I've come to realize a couple of things since my first marriage. I can't control everything, and trying to control everything just makes me miserable. Which in turn makes everyone around me miserable. I don't want to do that anymore. What makes me happy though, is enjoying the good things right here in front of me.” He glanced over at his new bride. “So yeah, you might ruin something, but you won't ruin my night. I'm happy.” 

“Well, I'm happy you're happy.”

He looked around the room, searching for someone. “Where's Danny? I thought he said he was going to meet up with you after dinner.”

“I don't know. I mean, I saw him briefly up at the top table with you, but not since then. Think he's scamming on some bridesmaids?” she asked honestly.

Tom looked at her, confusion creasing his forehead. “That seems...unlikely.”

“Oh, well I'm sure I'll find him later.”

Tom's expression settled back into a soft smile. “I'm sure you will.” 

“Well congratulations to you and your bride.” She lifted her glass and caught his eyes flicking to it. “Relax, it's just fizzy water.”

“I am relaxed,” Tom said and gave her another quick hug. “Think about what I said.”

“About what?”

“Enjoy the good things right in front of you. One way ticket to a happy life. I promise.” 

“Thanks, Tom.”  
. . . .

 

“Jeremy! You're not a bad dancer. You're no Danny, but...”

“I'm no Danny. What's going on with you two? Usually you're thick as thieves”

“Nothing.” Mindy shook her head. “We'll figure it out.”

“Please do. You're both unbearable when you fight.”

“Ex-squeeze me? If I'm so unbearable why are you dancing with me?”

“Because there is a lovely lady I've had my eye on tonight and I'm going to tell her later that you dumped me.”

“Gross, Jeremy.”

“Don't hate the player. Hate the game.”

“Have you been hanging out with Peter?”

“Why?” 

“No reason.”

“Well, anyway. Kiss and make up.” He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

“Jeremy!” 

“May I?” came a voice from her right.

Jeremy stood back and gestured for Danny to step in “Of course, if the lady doesn't object.”

“The lady doesn't object.” Mindy smiled up at Danny. Jeremy raised his eyebrows again, and bowed out.

As soon as Danny had taken her hand and slipped his other around her waist the song changed to something slower, something definitively jazzy. She felt Danny's body shift subtly to match the music, and her own body responded almost instantaneously, looser in his arms. “I love this song.” he said.

“What is it?” she asked.

“Miles Davis. Blue in Green.”

“It's nice.” She nodded agreeably as she followed his lead.

“You've heard it before, you must have. I play Miles all the time. We literally just watched that episode of Jazz with Miles Davis a couple of weeks ago.”

“You're right it does sound familiar.” She licked her lips nervously. “Listen, about that night...”

“Hey, it's okay. Don't worry about it.”

“I do worry about it. I didn't mean to... I mean...” she started awkwardly.

“I know what you mean.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Don't be. I'm the one who should apologize. I let my feelings get the better of me. I shouldn't have said any of that stuff to you when we were on your fire escape.”

“Why not?”

“It's not fair to you. I know that.” He shook his head.

“Danny... I want you to say what you feel. Even if I'm not well equipped to deal with it, I want you to feel like you can say anything to me.” 

A strange look passed over his face. “I'll try.” 

Her stomach unexpectedly clenched as the final notes of the song echoed through the hall. He spun her and she let out a surprised laugh. 

He held her hand lightly, and smiled. “Let's go get you some cake.”

“Danny! They haven't even cut the cake yet.”

“I'll sneak a piece from the back for you.” He pulled her by the hand over to the door that led out into the hotel. “Wait for me here.”

She watched him as he smoothly dodged cheerful guests and old friends to sidle up to the table where the cake was displayed. He fumbled around with things on the table for a moment, then he looked at her from across the room with a big grin and shrugged. Then he scooped a huge chunk of cake from the middle layer with his bare hand. He peeked at it and scooped a second chunk from the bottom layer with his other hand and took off running for the exit behind her.

“Go!” He hissed as he passed her, and she bolted ahead of him to push the door open. They spilled out into the hallway laughing. 

“What did you do?” 

“I couldn't find a knife.” He looked around them and nudged her with his shoulder. “Move, move. Someone will see us.”

She took off for the bank of elevators at the other end of the hall and hit the button to call it. Thankfully it was already on the second floor and arrived only moments later. A well dressed couple got off as Danny and Mindy got on and did a double take at the pair. The older gentleman smiled and winked at Mindy as the doors closed.

Mindy opened her tiny sparkly handbag and pulled out a key card. “You, mister, are just lucky we have a place to hide out. What came over you? And why did you take a piece from each layer?”

“I thought they might be different flavors, so I got you one of each.”

The elevator dinged and she peeked into the hall to check for witnesses before she waved at him to follow her. She unlocked the door and held it open for him and flipped on the light. “Don't make a mess, I'll get some sort of plate to put those on.” 

Danny walked slowly around the room and stopped at the window. As she came up behind him with two saucers from the tea and coffee station in the kitchenette, he turned to her and plopped a piece onto each. 

“Seriously though, what were you thinking?” She nodded at his frosting covered hands in exasperation. “This isn't you, this is me!”

“I don't know. It's been a good day. And I thought it would make you laugh.” His face lit up with that stupid half grin that could be so irritating when it was at her expense, but tonight made her breath catch. “Besides, what kind of wedding would this be if you didn't ruin it?” 

“I didn't ruin it! You did!” She dipped her head so he couldn't see her blush and carried the plates over to the table and set them down with a chuckle. 

“I'll tell Tom it was me.”

She kicked off her silver sandals and padded barefoot across the room to join him at the window. “You know, I don't think you have to. He and I talked tonight, and he seems really...happy. I don't think he gives a crap about a bit of cake.” 

“I hope not.” 

“He told me to enjoy the good things in front of me. A ticket to a happy life, he said.”

“He did?” Danny looked at her again with raised eyebrows and her stomach fluttered. Then he cleared his throat and nodded toward the table. “Like cake?”

“Definitely.” She watched him lick some frosting from his finger and suddenly the room felt much smaller than it had only moment ago. She needed to think about something else. “Um...what kind of cake did we get, then?”

“You'll be glad to know I was right, there are two kinds. This one,” he waved his left hand, “is just vanilla. This one,” he held up his right hand, “might be lemon. I'm not sure.”

“What do you mean, might be lemon. It either is lemon or it isn't.” 

“I don't know all the fancy fruits. It might be something else. Mango? I don't know.” 

He held his finger out in front of her, and she impulsively leaned forward and licked it. “Passionfruit. I think it's passionfruit.” Her chest was too tight, her words came out as a whisper.

He stared at her with dark eyes and unreadable expression. He put his finger to his mouth, and tasted it again. “Are you sure?”

“No.”

“Do you want to taste it again?” He was breathing faster than usual. Or was she?

“Sure.” This time she leaned forward more slowly, and he put his thumb to her lips. She closed her mouth over it and sucked. What had begun as a little flutter in her stomach had moved lower and she gasped as her body tightened in response. She saw him swallow hard as he pulled his hand away. 

He gestured toward the bathroom. “I should probably go get cleaned up.”

She stepped back and nodded. She didn't trust herself to speak. As he turned to go though, she reached out and slipped her hand into his. “Danny, wait.”

He looked down at their hands, the frosting smearing between their fingers and he looked back up into her eyes,. “Min...we'll make a mess.”

“I don't care.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even have anything to say other than to be continued tomorrow if I can finish writing it, and reviews are always appreciated.


	11. Sweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is Mature. If you don't read Mature you can absolutely skip it and pick up the story in the next chapter, it's designed to work that way. More notes at the end.

Danny's heart stopped. She had to know he wasn't talking about cake. She had to. _She didn't care._

Her warm hand slid out of his and he sighed, sure that the moment had passed and she had realized what she was saying to him. 

He looked so lost that she felt like her heart might burst. She didn't mean to knock him over as she rushed for him but she was so sure of what she was doing she couldn't wait any longer. He staggered backwards, hitting the wall as her arms slipped around his neck and body melted onto his. He looked down at her dark eyes and he couldn't breathe, afraid to do or say something to stop it. Afraid to do something to start it. He couldn't live without her, even if her friendship was all he could ever have.

“Mindy, I... you've been drinking.” 

She shook her head. “Sparkling water all night long.” She leaned in and brushed her lips over his so lightly that he could have imagined it, but he tasted sugar and he knew it was real. 

She pulled away from him slightly to see his reaction, and his hands wrapped around her waist of their own accord, holding her to him and smearing buttercream all over her expensive dress. “Sorry,” he said and started to let go of her. 

She pressed closer still and brought her lips back, this time drawing them softly across his throat. “Don't be.”

“Mindy.” He knew he shouldn't ask, but he couldn't stop himself. “Do you just want someone, or do you want me?”

How could he think she was here with him because she just wanted someone? She slid her hands down his shoulders and down the length of his arms to catch his hands, guiding them to her breasts. She closed her eyes, a sigh escaping her as her body responded to his heat. His heart raced as he felt her nipples harden under his palms.

“You. I want you.”

He grabbed her face and pulled it to his, pausing only briefly to enjoy her eyes fluttering open again with surprise before he crushed his lips against hers. Her hands roamed all over his body, finding their way into the soft curls at the nape of his neck. Her lips parted and her hot tongue ran over his bottom lip. Where he'd cupped her cheek be brought his thumb around to her lips again. She drew it into her mouth, sucking every last bit of icing off. She shivered as she felt his body respond against her. 

She pulled him eagerly toward the bed, unbuckling his belt in a few deft moves, but letting her hands linger, brushing him through his trousers and eliciting an embarrassingly loud moan. Her stomach clenched with excitement. 

Slipping the slim straps of her dress off her shoulders, he laid a trail of hot kisses down her neck, nibbling at her collarbone, nuzzling her breasts and breathing in her perfume. Too impatient, she unzipped the dress herself, letting it fall to the floor, relishing the look in his eyes as he realized she wasn't wearing a bra. 

Never breaking eye contact, Danny cupped her breasts with gentle hands, first brushing her nipples with his thumbs and then leaning forward to tease them, first with his lips and then his teeth. As he smoothed his hands down her body he left trails of white icing against her delicious skin. 

She felt like velvet in his hands, warm and soft. He followed the trails of sweet confection down her body and found himself kneeling at her feet. He rested his forehead against her belly for a moment, trying to catch his breath, all the while overwhelmed by the intoxicating scent of her.

She placed her hands on each side of his face and drew him back up for another kiss. Her touch was lighter this time, unbuttoning his shirt and pushing it off him, unzipping his trousers and letting them fall. She could feel that he was holding something back, so she wrapped her arms around him and tucked her head under his chin, giving them both a second to breathe. The moment was reminiscent of another embrace, but this time he didn't need anyone else to point out that what he felt was real. They stood like that, skin to skin, both of them breathing too hard, both aware that this was different from anything they'd tried before. He buried his nose in her hair and inhaled deeply. 

He felt her hands slip away as she slid onto the bed and beckoned for him to join. On his hands and knees he crawled to her. He hovered over her uncertainly, but she pulled his shoulders to bring him down to her. She let him slip between her knees and as he sank down they were both acutely aware that only a bit of fabric remained between them now. 

He dropped his head and caught her in a kiss again, this time deeper and longer, his tongue exploring her. Mindy arched her body against him and he reacted by grinding into her. She moaned into his mouth and he almost lost control. He pulled away from her and sat up. Her hair pooled around her like black silk. The beautiful contrast of her warm brown skin against cool white sheets made his heart ache. He wanted her too much. He closed his eyes and tried to get his breathing under control, but when he opened them she was inches away from his face. For the second time that night she kissed him so softly he wasn't sure it even happened. 

She put her hands on his chest and pushed him to the bed. She gently removed his remaining clothes and her own panties and straddled his hips. He stared up at her in awe as she took him in her hands and guided him to her. As she lowered herself he lost himself in her slick heat. The low moan that tore from her throat at that moment was the most gorgeous sound he'd heard in his life. He ran his hands up her thighs and gripped her hips lightly, letting her set their rhythm, but needing to anchor himself to her so he could concentrate on lasting as long as she needed him. She rocked against him, slowly at first but he needn't have worried about lasting because she came so quickly she actually gasped in surprise and stopped moving. 

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing, I just. I never... that's never happened. Not like this.” She smiled shyly and his heart swelled. 

He wove his hands into her hair and brought her face down to kiss her deeply. “Hold on,” he growled into her ear. He held her tight against his body, and rolled her onto her back in one smooth movement. She laughed into his mouth and it was more intense than the moans. He loved that laugh. He loved her. 

He lowered his head to her throat and pressed his burning lips to her skin, savoring the sweetness that lingered from the wedding cake, but even moreso the beautiful taste of her skin. He drew himself out of her so slowly that she whimpered in his ear, then thrust into her hard and she squealed in delight. He built up to a faster rhythm, then slowed again, teasing her, drawing it out so he could hear her make all those musical sounds that filled him with joy.

“Danny, please. I'm close again.” she begged. He moved fast and sure, and as she shuddered around him he let go and cried out. For several long minutes they lay tangled together, breathing hard and looking at each other. 

He reached for her face and brushed her hair out of her eyes. She smiled at him with a mix of awe and maybe a little fear in her eyes. He wondered what she saw in his eyes at this moment, but more than that he just wanted to make her feel safe. It slipped out before his brain caught up with his lips. 

“Mindy, I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this was rough to write because I'd only written M scenes for established DannyxMindy and writing for two people crossing a threshold together was really intimidating. Anyway, since I added music to my last chapter I'll post a few things I was listening to at the time of writing, if you're interested: Des'ree 'Kissing You', Tori Amos 'Sugar'. 
> 
> Companion chapter coming soon.


	12. Stay

He knew better, _he knew better_ than to say it, but the words fell from his lips before he could stop it. Wrapped up in the warm sheets with her his defenses had fallen and he said it.

_Mindy, I love you._

He felt his eyes widen and he could see her lips purse slightly. “Danny...”

He shook his head, panicking. “You don't have to say anything. I know you don't feel that way about me.”

Her brow furrowed. “What do you mean you know I don't 'feel that way' about you?”

“Mindy, I know I'm just the guy who's here, not the guy you want.” He'd watched her choose everyone but him for years and he felt a wave of hot shame. He knew he shouldn't have done this to her again. He swallowed hard. “But I had to say it. Just once.”

She pulled away from him, her eyes flashing angrily. “So you think I would have just slept with anyone who happened to be here tonight?”

“What?” He was genuinely thrown off guard by the accusation.

She sat all the way up and backed away from him. “What the hell is happening, Danny? You corner me on the fire escape and tell me you can't just be my friend. I try to show you that I want you, I literally tell you that I want you, and you tell me you think I'm just some crazed slut who would have banged whoever happened to be here tonight.”

“I never said that!"

“Well as long as you never SAID that.”

“Why are you so mad at me? You TOLD me to tell you what I'm thinking. Then you go and turn it into a fight about something I never said.”

“Danny, just go.” She pulled a sheet up around her, and glared at him as he slipped off the bed and started getting dressed.

“Mindy, can we just talk?”

“Apparently not.”

“Min...”

“Don't call me that.” Her eyes shone with tears and his heart dropped into his stomach. As the first tear spilled her voice got very low and frighteningly flat and emotionless. “I don't know what happened to you, Danny, that made you this way. I don't think it was just Christina and I don't think it was because your dad left. I think it might just be you.”

“That's not fair.”

“You know what's not fair? You are so afraid of anything that might mess up your life that you won't let anyone in. Believe me, I tried. You tell me you love me, and in the next breath you accuse me of screwing you just because you were there. I don't know why you won't let me love you, but it's exhausting.”

“Love me?”

“Yes I love you! You're my best friend. I know everything about you and I still love you. But every time,  _every single time_ we come close to something more you pull away. Or you diminish what happened. I can't do this anymore. This is why we never worked out, Danny.” She was shouting now. “It hurts to love you.”

“I'm sorry,” he said softly.

“Don't be sorry, just decide what you want. I've spent the last month trying to figure out why my relationships fail and the theme running through every single one is that I was not honest about what I wanted, and didn't ask for what I deserved. I laid everything on the line tonight, Danny. And you still won't let me in. I deserve more than that.”

“I know you deserve more than me.”

“I'm not asking for more than you. I'm asking for you.”

“I just told you I love you.”

“Those are just words.”

“I made love to you.”

“And that was a mistake.”

He thought he might be sick. “I see.” He looked for his shoes so he'd have something to focus on other than the pain on her face. She didn't even move to wipe her eyes, tears just dripping off her chin to stain the sheets below. She no longer looked furious, just disappointed. It was more than he could take. “I'll go.”

She felt a pang of regret as she saw his face fall. “Danny,” she said softly. “You're not broken. You are more than enough, just the way you are...but you take one step forward and two steps back over and over. Until you start feeling like you are worth loving, and commit to it...I can't carry it for both of us.”

As he reached for the door handle he turned back to her. “Mindy, this wasn't a mistake. I love you. I meant it. I didn't say it the way I wanted, and I got scared. I'm sorry about that. But that's the only thing I'm sorry about. I love you.”

As the door closed behind him she slumped back and let go of the sob she'd been holding back. She looked up at the ceiling, then closed her eyes. “I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was separate to allow people who didn't want to read the love scene the option on staying in the loop. I could go into the motivations and why these two people fight the way they fight but we'll get there as the story continues. This time the music choices are: A Great Big World 'Say Something' and Rihanna 'Stay'.


	13. No Sleep 'til Brooklyn

Danny waved his arm around blindly to find the source of the irritating buzz in his left ear. His hand connected with the plastic cover of his phone and he lifted it to check the screen. His face twisted in confusion as he swiped and lifted it to his ear. “Hello?”

“Hi, Danny. It's Rishi. Mindy's brother?” The voice on the other end was a little slurred and it sounded like he was asking a question.

“Yeah, it said Rishi on my phone, but I don't remember putting you in here.”

“Mindy put it in a while ago. She told me if I can't reach her to try your phone. Is she with you?”

“No. I, uh, I haven't seen her today.”

“Shit. Shit, Shit, Shit. Shit.”

“What's going on?”

“Uh, what are you doing right now?”

Danny wiped the sleep out of his eyes and looked around his dark bedroom. “Nothing right now, why?”

“Can you come pick me up?”

“Where are you?”

“I'm in Brooklyn.”

Danny swung his legs over the edge of the bed and sighed. “Text me the address.”  
. . . .

Danny pulled up to a brownstone heaving with what looked like the second act of a pretty wild party, nowhere near winding down at 2am. He spotted Rishi almost immediately, sitting on a curb a little ways from the action. Danny rolled down the window and shouted, “Hey man, get in.” 

Rishi hauled himself up and missed the door handle twice before he got it opened and spilled into the passenger seat. “Thanks for doing this.” 

“Buckle your seatbelt,” Danny replied.

“Okay, mom.”

Danny rolled his eyes and pulled away from the curb. “So, where to? You want me to drop you off at Mindy's?”

“Do you mind, if we don't just yet?”

“Okay. Where then?”

Rishi looked panicked, like he had no idea how to answer a straightforward question and Danny took pity on him. “How about I take you back to my place and we get some food into you? You're worse than your sister, I swear.”

Rishi slumped with relief. “Thanks, man. That sounds good.”

“No problem.”  
. . . . 

 

The aroma of brewing coffee filled the kitchen as Rishi swayed gently at the table, gripping a bottle of water like he might fall off his chair if he let go. Danny busied himself whipping together some French toast in hopes that it might soak up some of the alcohol. He waited patiently for Rishi to talk, if he even wanted to talk.

Rishi looked at Danny with tired, red eyes. “Thanks again for coming to get me. Can you maybe not tell Mindy about this?”

“I thought you called her for help first.”

“I did, but I was kinda relieved when she didn't pick up.”

Danny shoveled some food onto a plate and laid it in front of Rishi. “You know, when I was your age I definitely wouldn't have gone to a party in Bed Stuy.”

“Yeah, I hear it was pretty rough in the 80's.”

“You too?” Danny shook his head with a little smile. “It was the 90's, and I'm not crazy about you partying out there now either.”

“Alright, Judge Judy.”

“I'm not judging you.” Danny poured coffee into a couple of mugs. “Mindy would flip out though.” 

“Mindy flips out over everything. That's why I can't see her right now.”

Danny put a cup of black coffee down in front of Rishi and sat down across from him with his own cup. “How about we start with why you're in New York. Aren't you supposed to be in California?”

“Yeah, I'm not going back there.”

“At all? You trying the rap thing again?”

“No.”

“What's going on? You quitting medicine?”

“Yeah.”

Danny took a sip of his coffee. “Can I ask why?”

Rishi looked uneasy. “Why'd you go into medicine, man? Why did you want to be a doctor?”

“The truth? So I had a chance to do something with my life and show my piece of shit dad that I'm not like him.”

“And was that enough? College, then medical school, then residency, then trying to get a fellowship. It feels fucking endless.”

“No.” Danny said, honestly. “It wasn't enough. I had to decide that I wanted to do this for a reason beyond sticking it to my old man. I loved the science. I loved the challenge. And when I got to the end of a day I loved that what I do makes people's lives better.” 

“Do you know why I want to be a doctor?”

“No.”

“Me either.” Rishi pushed his French toast around on his plate, but didn't eat. “My parents just assumed I'd be a surgeon like Mindy, but no one ever asked me if I wanted to be a doctor.”

“Okay, then.” Danny looked Rishi directly in the eye. “Do you want to be a doctor?”

Rishi shrugged half-heartedly. “Look at Mindy's life, the messed up long hours. She can't maintain a relationship. It's a mess.”

“For the record, there's nothing wrong with Mindy's life.”

“Yeah? Where is she right now? In surgery in the middle of the night?” 

Danny looked out the window. “I actually don't know. We're not really talking right now.”

“Why, what'd she do?”

“Why would you assume she did something?”

“Dude, I've known her my whole life. She's a hothead. She goes from zero to blind fury in like 2 seconds. She's impossible.”

Danny sipped his coffee. “You're not wrong, but our fight isn't all her.”

“Did you do something to upset my sister?” Rishi's voice started getting louder. “I'm not too drunk to knock you out.”

“No. We both...neither of us...” Danny shook his head. “This fight was a long time coming.”

Rishi settled back down. “If you're fighting why did you agree to come get me? You don't even really know my ass.”

“Mindy would never forgive me if you needed someone and I didn't help.” 

“Yeah probably. She can really hold a grudge.”

“Yes she can.”

He stood up and started cleaning up the mess from making the toast. “You wanna crash on my couch or something? I can get you a blanket and some pillows.”

“Yeah, I appreciate that.” 

Danny grabbed a couple of blankets from his bedroom and brought them back through and tossed them on the couch. “I quit once too.”

“You did?”

“Yeah. I was married and it was all falling apart around me. I was always at the hospital and I was probably a pretty shitty husband.”

“Well clearly you went back. What happened?”

“Honestly? My wife broke my heart. I was pretty messed up for a while and it just made sense to throw myself into something I could control.”

“And that helped?”

“Yeah, it kinda did. It made me re-evaluate why I even wanted this. Sure the hours are long, and there are days when it feels like I can't help anyone no matter how hard I try, but there are a lot more days where you know you're really helping someone have the life they want.” 

“What if I can't survive the days where I can't help anyone?”

“You can. That's what I love about your sister. She gets knocked down too and she just gets back up and charges even harder at the next thing.” A little smile played around Danny's lips.

Rishi's eyes widened. “Did you just say you love Mindy?”

“Yeah.”

“Is that why you're fighting?”

“It is.”

“I'm sorry man. It's so hard to fight with her. Like sometimes she yells, but when she's really, really mad she cries. She just looks at you like you broke her heart.” Rishi looked so small. 

“Yeah.” They sat together in silence for a while, drinking coffee and staring out the window. Danny spoke first. “For what it's worth, she can't stay mad at you forever.”

“Want to bet?”

“She won't. It's your life man, pick the path that you want. Yeah maybe she'll be pissed at you for a while, but she loves you. She'll come around.”

“You think?” Rishi sounded doubtful.

“Listen, I'm not gonna try to talk you into going back, but let me ask you something. Why did you stick with medicine so long?” 

“What do you mean?”

“You could have quit years ago. You must have had a reason to hang there.” Danny was genuinely interested.

“I guess...I do like some parts. I like knowing how things work. I like making broken things work again.” Rishi drew circles in a bit of spilled coffee on the table with his finger.

“Mindy's like that. You should see her in surgery. She's just...she's so... elegant. It'd a been a damn shame if she'd dropped out.” Danny cleared his throat. “Anyway, do what you gotta do. She's so proud of you. She'll be there for you.” 

“Thanks.” 

“I gotta get some sleep. My first surgery is scheduled early, but stick around as long as you need to. Help yourself to whatever. Try not to puke on anything.” Danny turned toward the bedroom.

“Danny?”

“Yeah?”

“I hope you guys figure it out, whatever is going on.”

“Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Danny would be so quick to embrace Mindy's family as his own, a brother especially. I need Rishi to come back for next season, he's great.
> 
> Music is Beastie Boys, obviously :)
> 
> Expect a brief break while I work on The M Project here at AO3, details here: http://archiveofourown.org/collections/TheMProject!


	14. Go Easy on Him

Exhausted, Mindy waited for the elevator. She yawned and stretched until both shoulders popped. She had been called out for a patient who'd been scheduled for a C-section in 2 days time but had gone into labor early. For a short while it looked like they might be able to proceed without surgery, but 4 hours in the baby's heart rate dropped and Mindy scrubbed in. Sleep had been particularly elusive lately and working through fatigue was par for the course for a doctor, but really frustrating because she needed to be at the top of her game in an emergency like this. Luckily the years of training and experience kicked in and her mind that had been unquiet for days cleared and she honed in on the task at hand.

Mother and baby were fine. Mindy, though... she didn't know what she was. Tired. In need of a shower. Glad to be home. She'd spent a lot of time at the hospital lately avoiding the rest of her life. She stepped into the elevator and hit the button for her floor, but right before the doors closed a hand shot through and stopped them. Much to Mindy's horror Cliff stepped into the elevator.

“Cliff! What are you doing here? You're not...” she started.

“No,” he said tersely. “I'm here for Heather.”

“Oh,” she looked at him, surprised. Unable to bear the awkward silence she continued. “How are you?”

“I'm fine.” He too was clearly uncomfortable in the silence. “Heather and I got back together.”

She gave him a small smile. “Good for you.”

They stepped out into the hallway at the same time, arms brushing against each other as they moved. They both murmured apologies and looked at each other uncomfortably. Mindy opened her mouth to say something else when she heard Rishi call her name from her doorway.

“I gotta...” Mindy reluctantly gestured toward her apartment.

“Yeah.” Cliff managed to look both relieved and disappointed at the same time.

“Can we maybe talk later?”

“Mindy. I don't think that's a good idea.”

“I owe you and Heather an apology. Please.”

She could see the muscles in his jaw working as he thought about it. “Okay. How about you drop by later?”

She nodded. “Thank you.”

When she rounded the corner she saw her little brother looking the worse for wear, slumped against the door to her apartment. “You look awful.” She caught a whiff of him as she helped him stand. “Ugh. You smell even worse. What happened?”

“Went to a party in Bed Stuy. Tried to call you last night. Check your messages.”

“Why didn't you text? I never check my voicemail.” She fumbled her key into the lock. “Come in, I'll put some coffee on.”

As she shuffled around the kitchen she listened to her messages. There were two from Rishi. “Rishi, you called like 7 hours ago. Where have you been?”

“Danny picked me up. I stayed at his place. When he left for work I came here.”

“Danny?” Her eyebrows raised in surprise. “Why'd you call him?”

“You told me to save his number and try him if I couldn't reach you. You didn't answer. He did.” Rishi sprawled tiredly on her sofa.

“Oh.” She sniffed the milk delicately to make sure it was okay to use. She wasn't great at keeping up with her grocery shopping. There was a very real chance that Danny had bought this for her, once upon a time when he tried to surprise her with breakfast and she repaid him by hitting him with a candlestick. _How long ha_ _s_ _he been taking care of me like this?_ She frowned and swallowed an emotion she didn't want to think about right now. “You want milk in your coffee?”

Rishi looked a little green. “No, I don't think so.”

“Good call.” She poured of cups of black coffee and sat down on the couch with him. “So why are you in New York, Rishi?”

He looked pained. “I...I don't know that I want to be a doctor, Min.”

She closed her eyes and tried to stay calm. She was too tired to fight with anyone else this week. “Oh?”

“I came out here to tell Mom and Dad, but I couldn't face them. Then I got on a train to come see you, and ran into a friend who invited me out to this party. I thought a couple of drinks might make it easier to talk to you. My friend took off, and Danny picked me up.”

“Okay.”

“He made me some French toast and let me sleep on his sofa.”

“Did he?” She stared at her cup.

“He says you two are fighting.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Hey, don't change the subject. Why are you quitting?”

“Mindy, why are you a doctor?” he asked with a lost look.

“I like the challenge. I like helping people.” She tilted her head from side to side a bit. “The pay ain't bad.” She blew on her coffee. “Why now, Rishi? You must have stuck with it this long for a reason.”

“That's what Danny said.”

“Did he?” A little frown pulled on her lips. “And?”

“Listen, Danny already talked to me about this. Can I just get a shower so I can go talk to Mom and Dad?"

Against her better judgement, she nodded. “Sure. You left some stuff here last time you visited, so there are clean clothes in my closet, bottom drawer on the left.”

“Thanks Mindy.” Rishi looked relieved as he trotted off to collect his clothes. Before he shut the bathroom door he leaned back out. “Hey Mindy, go easy on him.”

“Mind your own business.”

Rishi gave her a serious look. “That dude talks about you the way Dad talks about Mom.”

She blinked. “What?”

“You know what I mean. With like, reverence.”

She looked away and cleared her throat. “Go get cleaned up. I have somewhere to be.”

. . . .

 

As soon as she was reasonably sure Rishi was on the train to Boston Mindy hopped into the shower. She needed to go see Cliff and Heather, and she wanted to be at least clean and dressed like a normal person. She tied her hair back and examined her face in the mirror. She decided to forego make-up because it wasn't really helping anything. She was okay most of the time, but then she'd have a little flash of Danny's lips on her throat, which just made her think of his face when she said making love was a mistake and then she'd start crying again. She just felt hollow all the time. A little eyeliner couldn't hide that.

The hallway between her place and Heather's felt interminably long as she approached the door. Even though they'd spoken about it, Cliff looked a little surprised when he answered. She took a big breath. _Here goes nothin'._

* * *

 

The ringing phone woke her. Mindy had spent no longer than 20 minutes at Heather's apartment, but once the smoke cleared and adrenaline retreated she was completely wiped. She collapsed on the bed as soon as she got back to her apartment and was asleep almost immediately.

From the light level in the bedroom she figured she'd been asleep long enough that the sun was now setting. She'd been having another of he dreams, and this time she reached Danny, but he dissolved when she touched him. Her face was tight like she might have been crying in her sleep now.  _Great._

She stretched and swiped the screen. She took a big breath and answered brightly. “Hi, Mom. Did Rishi get there okay?”

“Rishi's staying with us for a couple of days and flying back to California next Sunday.” As always her mom got straight to the point. It was annoying sometimes, like when you just woke up to take a phone call, but it was also really comforting, that kind of honesty and directness that she'd always admired, but never had a talent for.

“He's going back?” Mindy felt around on her bedside table for her glasses and wiped a little schmutz from the lens before putting them on.

“Yes.”

“Did you put pressure on him to go?” she asked tentatively.

“No, he said he changed his mind. That someone said he had stayed in medicine for a reason and it made him think about what he wanted. Did you talk sense into him?”

“No. Actually I think we have Danny to thank for that.”

“Is this the Danny you work with?” Her mother sounded a little confused.

“Yeah.”

“Well thank him for us.” Her mother paused. “Why did Rishi talk to Danny and not you?”

“I don't know. Sometimes Dan's just easy to be be with. He's such a sweaty mess when it comes to his own problems, but when you really need him he's just there. He doesn't even try to give you advice or ask a bunch of questions. He just gives you enough space to work things out for yourself. Well, not all the time. He can really get mad if he thinks what you're doing is hurting you. And it's so difficult to argue with him. I get mad really quickly, and he just waits for me to calm down, even if I don't feel like talking. Most of the time, anyway.” She didn't know why this had become such a long speech. Her mother didn't even know Danny.

“Oh?”

Mindy closed her eyes, thinking about the last time she'd argued with Danny, a train of thought she'd been avoiding almost successfully for days. “Mom, I gotta go.”

“Mindy, I think you should come visit Saturday. We haven't had you and Rishi home at the same time in quite some time,” her mother interjected unexpectedly.

“I don't know, I'll have to re-arrange my schedule.” Mindy pinched the bridge of her nose. Her eyes were watering a bit and she couldn't tell if it was thinking about Danny again or just fatigue.

“Listen to your mother. Come home. We'll watch the DVD you and Rishi sent for our anniversary.”

“About that...”

“I know. Come home. You could use a break. I can tell.”

“I'll see what I can do.” Mindy sighed and started mentally juggling her schedule, trying to think of a way to make it work.

“Tell Danny thank you for taking care of Rishi,” came the reply.

“I will.”

“And you.”

Mindy felt a lump form in her throat. “I will. Bye, Mom.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be slow going still while I put some time into The M Project, but we're on track to end before Paleyfest. Hope you guys feel like this has been worth it, 'cause committing to such a long piece has been a new, strange experience. The kind feedback really helps and is much appreciated. 
> 
> Music choice for this piece was London Grammar - Wrecking Ball (Miley Cyrus cover)


	15. Souvenir

“Casey?” Mindy answered the door and was suddenly thrown, back to the last night she shut her door on him, her throat burning and ringfinger still tingling from the ring that was no longer hers. 

“Betsy told me you were off work so I gambled that you'd still be home in your pajamas.”

“Did she?” Mindy looked down at her laundry-day outfit of a ratty Princeton tee and faded blue yoga pants. He wasn't entirely wrong. “What are you doing in New York? I mean it's nice to see you.” She stood aside and gestured for him to come in.

“I'm opening a store here. Just toured a storefront.”

“Oh. Congratulations.” She smiled weakly. She made a mental note to have a chat with Betsy about confidentiality when she got back to work.

He smiled and opened his arms wide for a hug, but thankfully didn't do his 'Gimme Gimme' thing that he thought was so charming. She gave him a quick squeeze, and felt a pang of old hurt in her chest as she caught a whiff of his cologne. She let go and shuffled purposefully toward the kitchen. “You want something to drink?”

“Sure, what have you got?”

“I have... cranberry juice, and champagne. I could make coffee...” she offered, but then she spotted the milk she still hadn't replaced since Rishi visited. “But I wouldn't recommend it.”

“Gotta be that champagne, girl! I just signed a 3 year lease on a storefront in a dodgy neighborhood. That's something to celebrate, right?”

“Okay...I only have coffee mugs clean though.”

“Of course you do. I miss that.”

She cleared her throat and swallowed a tart reply. “So you're moving back?” She busied herself with mugs as she waited for his answer.

“That's actually why I came by to see you. I'm not coming back for good but I will be here for the next 3 months or so getting the store ready and hiring staff and everything.”

“Oh. That sounds pretty cool.” She handed him a mug and held hers up for a toast. “To your new venture.”

His mug clinked against hers and he grinned. “It is cool, actually. I didn't think I'd ever come back to New York after...”

An awkward silence spread interminably. She sat next him on the sofa, trying to decide what to say. “Casey...”

“Mindy,” he said at the same time. She stopped and he continued. “I want to say something about the last time I saw you. I shouldn't have acted like that.”

“You shouldn't have,” she agreed.

“I just.. you broke my heart.” He frowned at his mug.

“Casey, I...”

“I'mma let you finish” he interrupted in his best Kanye voice and she smiled. “But I mean it. You broke my heart. And when I heard about your new boyfriend maybe I just wasn't very mature about it.”

“I know. You broke mine too.”

“Really? 'Cause it seems like you moved on pretty quickly.”

“Well if it helps, he dumped me like right after I left your party.”

“He dumped you? What a tool.”

“Not really. He was jealous and things got a little complicated. We had a really awkward conversation about it just a few days ago. In front of his new girlfriend to boot. The miserable truth is that he wasn't right, but he wasn't wrong either.”

“Danny?”

“What?” she spat champagne in surprise.

“Don't 'what?' me. I know you. You think I didn't know about the letters?” Casey raised his eyebrows.

“You read his letters?”

“No, I read your letters.”

“You did WHAT?” Mindy could feel herself getting hotter and more defensive by the second.

“Not all of them, but a couple.” Casey frowned and reached over to pick up the champagne and pour another cup.

“Casey, that's a HUGE violation...”

He looked away and shook his head sadly. “I know, but we spent all day apart working and when we got home in the evening you'd sequester yourself for an hour to write.”

“Not just to him! I wrote to everyone!”

“No, but he was the only person whose letters made you laugh. And when you wrote him your face lit up and your lips would move like you were actually talking to him.”

“No they didn't.”

“They did. It was kinda cute, and I was sorry sometimes that I'd taken you away from your friends.” He looked actively pained now.

“And so you repaid me by reading my private correspondence?”

“No, I peeked a couple of times to see if there was anything that I could do to make it easier on you.”

“What is WRONG with you?” she raged at him, her voice now quite shrill.

“I loved you Mindy. I wanted to make you happy.” He said it softly. She realized how loud her voice had gotten.

“So what did you glean from my letters? What insight was worth reading my personal letters, Casey?”

“You love Danny.” He looked completely earnest. He really believed that, she could tell.

“Screw you, I never wrote anything like that.”

“You didn't have to say it, Mindy. When I asked you how your day was you'd give me a rundown of the patients you saw and what you ate. When you wrote Danny you told him how you  _felt_ about your day.” He tipped his head from side to side like he was trying to decide whether to say the next bit. “And what you ate.”

“I like to eat, so sue me.” She glared at him. “And I did not withhold things from you that I shared with him.”

“Maybe you didn't mean to. But you did.”

“I did not.”

“You did. And when we got back to New York I could see it all over him too.”

“You did not!”

“I did.” He paused again like he wasn't sure if he should continue, then looked in her eyes. “Do you want to know what his face looked like when you walked down the aisle?”

Her heart sank. It couldn't have gone back that far. It couldn't. “What?”

“He looked like he was letting you go.” He drained the mug and stared into the bottom as though he could find something there.

“He did not.” She whispered.

“He did.”

“Well that's just stupid were barely even friends back then.” The tears had begun again, embarrassing and hot, proving his point.

“You two were never 'barely even friends.' There was always something there. I wish I'd known that before I met you. It would have saved me a lot of pain.”

“You are so full of shit. You just want me to take the full blame for this not working. Have you forgotten how you treated me?” She stood up, angry again.

“How I treated you?” He looked surprised and his eyes followed her as she paced in front of him.

“You almost gave up on me after one date because you were too selfless to be with a self absorbed monster like me. You tried to convert me to your religion like my own spirituality was somehow less than yours. And you always, always made plans for your life without even talking to me. I was always an accessory.”

“Hey!”

“Tell me I'm wrong, Casey.”

“You're wrong. I loved you, I really did.” A shadow of something unreadable passed over his face. “I regret the way things turned out, but I'm in a better place now and I hope you are too. I don't know if there's room for me in your life, but I hope you'll think about it while I'm here in New York.”

She looked at her hands through a haze of angry tears, unsure of exactly what he meant and a little afraid to ask.

He broke the silence for her. “I'll respect your decision either way, but can I say something that comes from a place of love?”

“Okay,” she said tentatively.

“Don't let him slip away.”

She looked up with hurt all over her face. “Danny.” It was a statement, not a question.

“I saw your face just now. You didn't know how far back this went, this Danny thing.”

“I didn't know.” Her eyes were drawn to the stupid bookshelf Danny had fixed for her, and she closed her eyes as their conversation that night came back unbidden.

> “ _They longed to be together, Danny. That means something. Haven't you ever longed for something you couldn't have?”_
> 
> “ _They were from different worlds. They were both pretty broken people. Maybe him especially. Do you really think there was a chance for a happy ending there?”_
> 
> “ _Maybe not. But that doesn't mean that the love between them wasn't beautiful.”_

A statement that felt so casual at the time suddenly felt cruel  and the realization forced a sob from her throat.

Casey reached for her and hugged her tightly. “Why are you crying, really? Are you that mad at me?”

She shook her head and wiped her eyes angrily. “I'm mad at me. I just accused you of treating me like an accessory, and now I realize I've done the same thing to him. I didn't know how long he'd felt like that. He told me he loved me and I told him it was just words. He was right, I pick him up and I put him down. No wonder he thinks I don't really want him.”

“Hey, hey, hey. Don't waste time on tears. You can turn this around.”

“I don't know that I can. I said some things...”

“You won't know until you try.”

“I guess so. Thanks Casey.” She hugged him back.

“You're welcome.” He stood and offered her his hand to stand as well. “Listen, it sounds like you have a lot going on, why don't we catch up in a couple of weeks?” 

“Sure, that sounds good.” She led the way to the door.

He turned one last time to face her. “Go tell him what you really want. And ask him what he wants. If you have something worth saving it's not too late to do something about it. Don't let him be your regret.” He looked so sad in that moment that her heart ached.

“Casey...”

“Good luck.” He was already starting to walk down the hall.

“Thanks.” She shut the door and closed her eyes, the moment feeling so much like a bookend to the last time she said goodbye to Casey. He'd left something broken that time, and this time he'd helped her put something together. She needed a plan.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's music selection is Souvenir, Kristy Thirsk.


	16. Song for the Dumped

**You got time for coffee?**

**I'm in the Village. You at work?**

**I'm at home. Text me when you're on the way.**

**Will do.**

 

. . . .

Danny grimaced as he sent the text, but he needed to talk. This was his first real day off in ages and just being at home alone was agony. He'd been at work almost non-stop, trying to distract himself from the way his shower was haunted by the perfume she wore that night he told her didn't ask to be her friend. From how his stomach twisted when he saw gleaming sunlight on his kitchen table that looked pale compared to her bright eyes when she confessed how she felt about Cliff. From his sofa, cold and strange without her warm hand in his, and the foolish words that almost gave him away again.

_I would never want someone to come between me and you.”_

“ _I know. Me too.”_

He had to get out of here.

His heart leapt into his throat when he heard the knock. He wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans and opened the door.

“Hey, Dan.” Christina kissed him on the cheek as she breezed through the door. “May I say, you look awful.”

He ignored the casual insult. “What were you doing in the Village?”

“There's a gallery here that wants me to do a new show sort of like my last one.”

Danny turned grey. “You wouldn't.”

“No, not like that, silly. It's landscapes this time, with superimposed...you know what? It's not your thing. But I promise no more private photos of you.”

“Thank you.” He wiped sweat from his brow. “How do you know it's not my thing?”

“My art was never your thing. You showed up, but you were never really there.”

“That's not fair.”

She frowned. “You're right, it's not fair. Maybe we should consider that one of the topics that should stay in the past like Paul and New Jersey.”

Danny nodded slowly. “Maybe.”

“So, where do you want to go?”

“There's a place not too far from here. Pretty good coffee, but don't get the Mexican hot chocolate.”

“Duly noted. Your weird neighbor gave me the stinkeye when I came in, so be warned that she might be skulking in the hallway.”

“Amy? She's harmless. Let's go.”

. . . .

 

“This place is pretty nice. Doesn't seem like your scene, but thanks for thinking of me.” She regarded him seriously as he sipped herbal iced tea. Something was definitely, definitely wrong. “What's going on Danny?”

He gave her a weary look. “We're friends now, right? Friends have coffee together.”

“They do, but in order to have coffee both people have to show up.”

“What? I'm here.”

“No you're not. We've talked about this. The only way this will work is if we break old patterns. Spit it out.”

“How do you know I want to say something?”

“If you don't, I have places to be.” She picked up her bag, but he caught her hand before she got up.

“Okay.” His hands returned to his glass, but he was gripping it so tightly his knuckles were turning white. “I slept with Mindy.”

“Finally.” She felt almost relieved.

“What?”

“I don't know what stopped you two from doing this before, but you were making everyone else around you miserable.” She covered his hand with hers. “We wouldn't be here if everything had gone well. What happened?”

“I told her I loved her.”

Her eyes widened. “Shit. Are you kidding?”

“No. It just... slipped out.”

“Yeah, that sounds about right.”

“Screw you.” He wasn't even looking at her and his words had no fire behind them, like he was just arguing back for the sake of arguing. He paused and looked at her questioningly. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that's how you do things. You hold on to your feelings until they burst out and make a mess.”

Pain etched lines in his face. “Christina, was it hard to love me? I mean, did I make it hard to love me.”

She tilted her head thoughtfully. “No, it wasn't hard to love you.”

“Oh.”

“But it was hard to be with you.”

His face fell. “Fuck. This was a mistake.” He finally let go of his glass and started to stand.

“Sit down. You called me to talk about this, so I think you know that you need to hear what I have to say. If we're going to be friends, you have to live with this. Friends tell you the truth when no one else will.”

He settled back down and stared into his glass. “Fine. What do I need to hear?”

“You have been, as long as I've known you, a pretty guarded guy. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, because I think there are reasons that maybe don't justify it, but at least give it context. There are two major consequences of it though. First, when you let someone in, even a little you really give them your whole heart. It is exhilarating, and it is terrifying to be the focus of that kind of love. The other side of the coin is that you spook easily and when things get tough you shut down so quickly that it hurts.”

“She said it hurt to love me.” His voice broke a little.

Christina sighed. “I wouldn't say it hurts to love you, but it does hurt to be cut out after you've had that kind of love. You've got to find a way to operate in the shades between like the rest of us.”

“I see,” he said quietly. “Was I always this way? Is it me?”

“Yeah, you were. I can admit though that what happened with us probably didn't help.”

“You think?” He raised an eyebrow.

“So you really told her you love her?”

“Yeah.”

“And then?”

“And then we had a big fight. She cried. I left.”

She waved her hand dismissively at him. “You two fight all the time. Apologize.”

“What am I apologizing for? I told her I love her, and I'm not sorry about that.”

“No, stupid. Apologize for not staying to sort everything out. Leaving isn't the end of a fight, figuring out how you got there and finding a better way to do things next time is the end of the fight.”

“Says the woman who broke my laptop in two and stormed out of my office.”

“And how long did it take before I became your first call for friend problems? Do you want to wait that long before you talk to Mindy again?”

His face crumpled. “I can't. I don't want to go back to who I was before I met her.”

“Then go find her.” She pushed his arm, and added, “I'll try not to take that personally.”

“Thank you, Christina.” He stood up with determination in his eyes, then looked down thoughtfully. “Why didn't we figure this out when we were together, how to finish a fight?”

“It doesn't matter. We know now. And we're both much happier this way.” She paused. “Did you mean it? Do you love Mindy?”

“I do. I love her.”

“Why aren't you with her right now? Go.”

He smiled. “Thanks, Chris.”

Christina returned the smile. “What are friends for?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christina and Danny were never part of the original outline of this story, but she was too significant a person in his life to relegate to mentions in other chapters. And sometimes a person has to know you a specific way to talk truth to you. Now I gotta blaze through two more chapters by Tuesday. Wish me luck. As always, feedback is very welcome. 
> 
> Music choice is 'Song for the Dumped' by Ben Folds Five.


	17. Soup Snake

“Hi, Mom.” Mindy stood in front of a partially packed suitcase. She was feeling apprehensive about what she had to do next so she'd done the only thing she could think of and called home. 

“Mindy.” Her mother always sounded so sure on the phone. Like she'd been expecting the call.

“Am I still invited to come tonight? I got someone to cover my patients until Monday. I think you're right, I could use the break.”

“Of course you're invited. Shall I make up your bedroom or are you bringing Danny?”

“Mom!” 

“Mindy you're a grown woman. Let's be practical. If you're bringing him I'll make up the double bed in the guest room,” her mother said matter-of-factly.

“No, Mom. I don't think Danny's coming.”

“What do you mean? Did you not ask him? He's very welcome in our house.”

“Mom, it's not like that.”

“Your brother says it is.”

“Rishi said... does no one in this family believe in minding their own business?”

“You're my child. You are my business.” 

“Well Danny isn't your business.” Mindy felt the lump in her throat return. “He's not my business either, really.” 

“Don't be silly. One fight doesn't mean anything in the long run.”

“Oh my God. What did Rishi tell you?” 

“Nothing I couldn't have guessed. Apologize and invite him to come with you. I'm making your favorite dessert. Speaking of which, I need to get back to the kitchen. I'll make up both rooms just in case. Goodbye.”

Mindy stared at the phone in her hand, for some reason even more sure that she needed to go home tonight. Especially if Danny couldn't or wouldn't accept accept her apology. She closed her eyes.

_ This is why we never worked out, Danny. It hurts to love you. _

Her plane left for Boston in a couple of hours. If she didn't do it now she was never going to do it. She swallowed the lump in her throat and closed her suitcase. 

* * *

 

For a woman who'd seen every romantic comedy ever released in English, twice, she'd struggled to think of a romantic gesture big enough. Her stomach knotted when she remembered the last time they spoke. _It hurt to love me. And he just did it anyway._ So she'd tried for a small gesture, which is how she found herself holding a white orchid wrapped in gold paper, staring at Danny's door. She'd torn up enough cards to garner a dirty look from the florist and finally settled on an incredibly generic “Thank you for taking care of Rishi – Mindy” which was possibly even more embarrassing than no card at all. It was just difficult to put into writing what she really wanted to say. She'd always envied Danny's gift with the written word and her attempts just felt clumsy. She hoped he could see past that to her true intention. That he still wanted to.

Mindy took a deep breath and as she raised her hand to knock she heard a familiar voice behind her. “Chloe?”

“Amy! Hi!” Mindy looked back at Danny's door and put her hand down again.

“I didn't think I'd see you again.” Amy gave her a concerned smile.

“What do you mean?”

“Well when the blonde started coming around again I thought you guys were over.” 

“What blonde?”

“The ex-wife.”

“Christina,” Mindy said, her mouth set in a grim line.

Amy nodded. “If you're looking for Danny, he just left with her. They looked pretty cozy.” 

“Oh.” Mindy looked at the orchid, suddenly aware of how pathetic her gesture was, how stupid. She felt stupid, for everything. For believing him when he said Christina wasn't really back. For letting the wedding get the better of her and sleeping with her best friend. For pushing him away. Into Christina's arms. 

“For what it's worth I think he was better off with you.”

Mindy felt a shameful blush color her cheeks. “Amy I have to confess something. Danny and I were never a couple. My real name is Mindy.”

“Yeah I thought there was something strange about you guys. Danny was kinda cagey about marriage and baby questions, and then the blonde turned up.”

“I'm sorry about that.” 

“It's okay. He wouldn't be the first guy I started seeing who ran a mile once it started to get serious. I don't know if it's me or if it's the guys I pick.” Amy looked a little sad.

“In this case it definitely wasn't you. I'm not sure any of us ever stood a chance against Christina.”

“You too?”

“Kinda.”

“I'm sorry about that.” Amy took her hand and squeezed it before heading down the corridor towards her own apartment.

“Me too.”

* * *

“Having a midnight snack?”

Mindy broke from her reverie to see her dad in the doorway to the kitchen. “Hey Dad, what's up? I'm just getting a glass of water.”

“Mindy...” He raised an eyebrow as his eyes settled on the bowl only inches from her left hand.

“Okay, I might have just eaten the rest of the carrot halwa.” She'd had a nice, quiet family night exactly as Danny had encouraged her to do. He always knew what she needed. It was infuriating. 

“Can't sleep?” He walked over to the sink and filled a glass of water for himself.

“No.” Sleeping in her childhood bedroom always felt strange. It was a place she'd long since outgrown and a place she'd never outgrow. She felt especially vulnerable there, which is probably why sleep wouldn't come. Not that it mattered. It wasn't enough that she had nightmares about Danny when she slept, now any quiet waking moment was filled with thoughts of him as well.

“Anything you want to talk about?” Her dad pulled up a chair and sat with her at the kitchen island.

“I'm fine. Why do you ask?”

“Mindy, a midnight snack has been your tell since you were 4. Only you used to wake me up to sit with you. You're worried about something.” 

“Yeah?” She rotated her glass, watching the ice spin.

He changed tack. “So it's good that Rishi is going back.”

Mindy nodded. “He's gonna be a great doctor. He just had a crisis of confidence, I think.”

“You had trouble too once if I remember correctly, but you didn't ask for help.” Her dad put his hand on her shoulder.

“Yeah. I probably should have.”

“Well I'm glad he felt like he could talk to you.” He smiled proudly at her.

“He didn't talk to me. He talked to my friend Danny.” 

“Friend?”

Mindy frowned. “You've been talking to Mom haven't you?”

“You have been floating around the house like a ghost all night. I thought your brother was the one in trouble, but your mother said you needed us. As always your mother was right.”

“Dad...”

“Listen, I know you're too grown up to take advice from your dad, but there are a couple of things I think you should know.”

“Dad, I'm fine. Danny and I are friends. We've been best friends for a long time, and maybe we could have been more at some point, but it just didn't work out that way. I said things and did some things that I don't think he'll forgive.” 

“He'll forgive you.”

“How do you know that?”

“Well aside from the fact that you're my beautiful daughter and I can't imagine anyone staying mad at you forever, he embraced your brother like he was his own. A man who embraces your family has long since embraced all the other things about you, good and bad.” 

Mindy's lip quivered a little much to her embarrassment. “He doesn't have to take any more bad. His ex-wife came back. Again. They're probably soulmates. I'm just a mistake he made.”

“Mindy, don't get hung up on soulmates. Soulmates are made, not destined.”

“Dad! What about you and Mom?”

“What about us? We weren't destined to be together. Soulmate is about making a choice and committing to it. You can have chemistry with anyone. You can love people and not want to build a life with them. The truth about soulmates is that you pick that perfect imperfect person and you take the bad days with the good. You'll say the wrong thing sometimes, but he will too. You're never going to agree on everything. But every single day you wake up and choose the life you've built together. That's a soulmate. And when you find the person who wants to do this for you too don't let them go.” 

“Dad, I messed up.” 

“What did I just say? Every day is another chance. Try again. If anything Rishi said about him was true, your Danny will choose you too. Now go get some sleep.” He kissed her head and loaded their empty glasses in the dishwasher. 

Mindy trudged upstairs and snuck quietly back into her room. For the first time in too long she fell into a dreamless sleep almost immediately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is the penultimate chapter. I know this has been drawn out a bit, but hopefully it allows me some room to wrap this up right. I've gotta get the last chapter written tonight because I'm off to Paleyfest tomorrow and I can tell you now that nothing I ever write is gonna be as delightful as whatever they've got in store for us. So excited.
> 
> Music: Unconditionally, Katy Perry. For reasons.


	18. XO

“Danny?” Mindy spotted him across the crowd in the Arrivals area, leaning against a wall, hands in his pockets. She was so tired that for a moment she though she was mistaken, but his eyes lit up in that familiar, heart-rending way when she came into view and hard knot formed in her chest. Was her dad right? Was there a chance to try again?

She approached him curiously. “Danny, what are you doing here? How did you know when my flight got in?”

“Rishi sent me a text.” He smiled shyly.

“When? I was with him all morning.”

“Last night.”

“Stupid Rishi!”

Danny waved at her to settle down. “Hey, go easy on him. He's a good kid.”

“He is a good kid. He can't mind his own business, but he's a good kid.” She paused. “He's gonna be a great doctor. I think I owe you a thank you for that.”

“Yeah, I found your orchid. Thank you. You know I'll probably just kill it, right?”

A small smile formed on her lips. “I know. I just.. I didn't know how to say thank you.”

“You don't have to thank me. That's what friends are for. I'm glad he's going back.”

Her heart sank. “Me too.”

“Where's your bag?” He gestured toward her hand.

“What do you mean? This is my bag.” She lifted her arm so he could see her yellow leather travel bag.

“That's all you took with you?”

“Yes,” she said indignantly. “I can pack light if I need to.”

“The ONE TIME I don't travel with you and all you take is this tiny bag?”

“Well if it makes you feel useful I'll pack a bigger bag next time and you can deal with it.”

Danny's eyes flickered, and she saw his chest heave like he was swallowing a sigh. “So, you need a ride?”

“Danny, you didn't have to do this.” A little hope flared back to life in her.

“Sure I did. Like I said, that's what friends are for.” He took her bag and turned to go. “Let's go.”

. . . .

The ride back to her place was quiet. He tuned the radio to NPR and she pretended to doze. She'd been ready for this talk yesterday before she knew about Christina, but now she couldn't even form the words she needed to say. Not after he'd so clearly said 'friend' to her. Twice. So like a coward, Mindy feigned sleep.

She was concentrating so hard on trying to breathe evenly that she didn't notice the program change and when the first strains of Blue in Green filled the car she felt the sorrow and anger and disappointment she'd been holding back overtake her. As she sank deep into a deep pit of misery, she felt his hand hover over hers, warmth radiating from his palm, but never actually closing over hers. When he pulled it away she shivered involuntarily and hoped he didn't see as a tear rolled down her cheek.

He pulled up and parked near her place and got out to grab her bag from the trunk, thankfully giving her a moment to wipe her eyes in private and compose herself. He opened her door and held his hand out to help her out of the car. She took it and he pulled her up. “Thank you. You really didn't have to.”

“I don't mind doing this kind of thing.” He shrugged.

“Um...have you eaten? I could make you some dinner?”

“Please don't. Do not under any circumstances try to cook for me.” Mindy felt her face fall and she couldn't even hide it. Danny put his hand on her shoulder. “But we could order pizza.”

She smiled. “Deal.”

 

. . . .

She woke up on her sofa with a chenille throw draped over her and before she opened her eyes she knew he was gone.

He'd barely objected when she put The Lake House on. They settled back into their old routine with ease. She'd told him all the news about Rishi and how the whole family had watched a documentary together just like when she was a kid. He'd told her about all the time he'd spent at the hospital lately. He'd delivered his third set of twins for the month, which was definitely a practice record.

Neither of them had said a word about their last conversation. Neither of them moved to touch each other and his hand on her shoulder was the last physical contact they'd had. As the movie progressed she drew her legs up and formed a tight little ball on the sofa when she found herself thinking too hard about letters she'd written, a long time ago. She must have fallen asleep before the film ended.

She threw the blanket off and stretched. Picking up the pizza box and a couple of glasses, she made her way to the kitchen and started running water in the sink to wash up a bit. Steam rose around her and the scent of lemon dishwashing liquid triggered a memory.

_It either is lemon or it isn't._

_I don't know all the fancy fruits. It might be something else. Mango? I don't know._

Tears formed and fell, and she didn't even have the heart to wipe them away. She turned off the water and leaned over the sink, but as she plunged her hands into the soapy water she heard her door lock flip behind her. She spun and grabbed a knife from the knife rack, prepared to scream the building down when Danny's head popped around the door. He saw the knife first and chuckled at her. “We playing Clue again, Professor Plum?”

“Damnit, Danny! You scared me. Again! And this wouldn't have healed like the bruise from last time.” Waving the knife at him she panted as adrenaline burned through her veins.

“I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I just went to get you a bearclaw.” He held up a white box like it would explain why he was sneaking in and out of her apartment again. He looked more closely at her. “Have you been crying?”

“Yes I've been crying! I thought you left.”

“I didn't leave.” He moved closer. “We haven't even had our fight yet.”

“You came back here to start a fight? What is wrong with you?” Her adrenaline was coming down to be replaced by anger and embarrassment.

“No, I came back here to finish a fight. I walked out on you the last time we fought, and we have got to finish it.” He was only on the other side of the kitchen island now and the closer he got the more humiliation she felt.

“Danny, I don't want...” she started.

“Please, Min.” He was right in front of her now, his hands on her arms. “I was with Christina when you left the orchid, and she told me that being with me is hard because I give all or nothing. I told you once that I would never want someone to come between us and I failed you. I was that someone. I ran from you, and I ran from our fight. Leaving isn't the end of a fight, figuring out how you got there and finding a better way to do things next time is the end of the fight. We can move past this. I don't care what it takes, I need you in my life.”

“Danny, I can't be your friend. Not after the wedding.” Mindy felt him let go of her arms. “Christina was right. You're lucky to have her.”

“Wait, what?” His whole face crumpled with confusion.

“I am happy that you've found a way to be with her again, but I can't stand by and watch it. I love you, and I wish I'd shown you more and told you sooner, but I didn't and I can't go back to nothing. I told you it hurt to love you, but I was wrong. It hurts to lose you.”

“You think I'm with Christina?”

“You're not?” Her heart rose and she felt sick.

“No. I love you.”

“I told you it was a mistake,” she whispered. “You left.”

He took her face in his hands, brushing his thumb along her cheekbone. “And I told you it wasn't.” He kissed her softly, the way she kissed him with sugar on her lips that night when the whole world changed. “And I'll never walk away from you again.”

“Dan?” She could barely breathe.

He smiled down at her. “Yeah?”

“Do you really think there is a chance for a happy ending here?” They'd made so many stupid mistakes and she was terrified he was right about broken people.

“Mindy, there's a chance for us to make whatever we want. We're not perfect, and I don't need a happy ending. I just need you.”

Mindy slipped her arms around Danny and pulled him closer. “Right answer.”

 

_Since the invention of the kiss there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. The End._ _-William Goldman, The Princess Bride_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's all she wrote. This was a huge undertaking, way more than I'd have ever imagined I'd try to write into one story. This last chapter was hard to tackle because we're so close to the return of the show and I've just seen FMYI so all I can think about is how nothing I can ever write will come close to the fantastic storylines we have ahead of us now. It's so exciting. Anyway, hope you guys had fun with it, I did. 
> 
> Music: XO, Beyonce and Bright Lights, 30 Seconds to Mars
> 
> The other thing eating up my time (beyond work and life) has been The M Project. We've made our goal of 14 fics before the return of the show, but we'd love more from you talented and creative writers so please feel free to join us or send me a message if you would like more info! http://archiveofourown.org/collections/TheMProject


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